Support for endometriosis sufferers

shakes

Mar 14, 08 - 6:08 PM

Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

I just wanted to share this information with you all. I have been studing about this and getting information together for my niece who is 17 and dating. If you agree, pass it on you may encourage someone to wait!

WHY WAIT FOR MARRIAGE TO HAVE SEX?

Along with all other kinds of sexual immorality, sex before marriage / premarital sex is condemned in the Bible.

For This is the will of God, your sanctification that you should abstain from sexual immorality
1 Thessalonians 4:3.

Ephesians 5:3 warns us that a fornicator (someone who has sex before marriage) as well as other unclean people have no inheritance in heaven.

God has a plan for each one of our lives He does not give us rules to spoil our fun but to guide us and help us to avoid sin and the consequences of it. God wants to protect us from unwanted pregnancies and children born to parents who do not want them or are not prepared for them. Imagine how much better our world would be if God’s pattern for sex was followed: fewer sexually transmitted diseases, fewer un-wed mothers, fewer unwanted pregnancies, fewer abortions, etc. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage.

Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations that God approves of.

Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulteres God will judge. Hebrews 13:4

Yes, sex is pleasurable. God designed it that way. He wants men and women to enjoy it together (within the confines of marriage). However, the primary purpose of sex is not pleasure, It is reproduction. And God blessed them saying be fruitful and multiply. Genesis 1:22

Ephesians 5:3 tells us, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people." Anything that even "hints" of sexual immorality is inappropriate for a Christian.

The body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body
1 Corinthians 6:13

Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are Gods. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

Be careful! Do not compromise Don’t put yourself in a situation that will temp you or cause you to sin. God’s word promises a way of escape but if we put ourselves in a place of temptation we will most likely fall into it.

Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him James 1:12

Surround yourself with good friends who will support you and encourage you to do the right thing
Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, Faith, Love, and Peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

By Staying Pure, You are free from

Sinning against God
Regret, Guilt, and Shame
Fear of Pregnancy
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Decisions on Abortion or Adoption that can cause physical and emotional pain
Getting Married to soon for the wrong reasons
Disappointing those who Trust and Love You
There are about 3,700 abortions every DAY in the US
Think of how many people should be here that didn’t get the chance, just a thought, One of those babies could of grown up to be the man or women that had the cure for cancer or some other harmful disease.
Only 1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest. 6% occurs because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child. 93% of all abortions, performed in the US, are for social reasons.
Stats taken from abortionno.org, the most extensive compelation of abortion information I have found.

So just how many people have an STD?
· 1 in 2 people who are sexually active between the ages of 15 and 24 have an STD. (1)
· 1 in 5 Americans over the age of 12 have genital herpes. 1 in 4 women have genital herpes. There is no cure for herpes. (2)
· 75% (more than half) of the reproductive population is infected with HPV (genital warts). There is no cure for HPV. (3)
· 1 in 250 Americans has AIDS. AIDS is the 6th leading cause of death among persons 15-24 years of age and 20% are infected during the teen years. There is no cure for AIDS. (4)
· 40%, nearly 1 in 2, of those who are sexually active are suspected carriers of Chlamydia. (5)

Science tells us that human life begins at the time of conception. From the moment fertilization takes place, the child's genetic makeup is already complete. Its gender has already been determined, along with its height and hair, eye and skin color. The only thing the embryo needs to become a fully-functioning being is the time to grow and develop.

More importantly, God reveals to us in His Word that life begins at conception, He knows who we are even before then.

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

King David said this about God's role in our conception:

"For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them."

Psalm 139 13-16

Society continually seeks to devalue the lives of the unborn, creating its own definitions of humanity based on distorted views of morality. But the undeniable fact is that life begins at creation, and a human is created as soon as it is conceived. God is present at our creation; He is, in fact, our Creator. Our value as human beings created in His image are conceived even before we are

Nettie

Mar 14th, 2008 - 10:36 PM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

This is an awsome study. I learned alot. I wish that I can go back in time and do it the right way.Which is to WAIT. I'll bet that I would have had huge butterflies in my tummy on my hunny moon.

I have repented and come to know Jesus. He has blessed my marriage (Rom. 8:28), and I can say that I am more in love with my Hubby than I ever was, considering that we where highschool sweet hearts.

Proud to say 11 years this April. Only By the blood of Jesus did my marriage survive.

I hope that you don't mind if I share your study on my blogg. I will attatch your name to the post.

Love,
Nettie

Lori

Mar 15th, 2008 - 11:09 AM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

That is very good Shakes! And congratulations Nettie on 11 years!

I have been thinking so much about this verse lately in regards to it and how it applied:

1Cr 6:18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

I am not sure exactly what that means, but maybe it means exactly what the circumstances are- heartache/embarrasment/shame could have been avoided in my husband(abortion too in his situation) & I's life if we had waited and not had other partners.

I also think of a few of my friends who brought herpes to their marriage bed. That never goes away and impacts sex in their now pure marriage. It is such a great risk to take.

I also have a friend who was so hurt by her relationships(used to love men) and is now homosexual...

I was protected physically from any harm thanks to the Lord, but emotionally it took a big toll on me. All becomes new with Christ though and HE removes our sins "as far as the east is from the west" when we come to him and we can start fresh. It is just that the circumstances can follow us.

What love he has for us!
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

It is never too late to be cleansed by him and start fresh and pure!

Love,
Lori

Nettie

Mar 15th, 2008 - 12:26 PM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold ALL things have become new.

2 Cor. 5:17

lori needs to be educated

Mar 15th, 2008 - 11:49 PM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

what you need to do is convict lori of her sinfulness in trying to ARTIFICIALLY conceive and in her deception of women (and her own personal obsession

shakes

Mar 16th, 2008 - 1:17 AM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

I am no one to convict anyone of there sins God is our judge, No one is with out sin. We all fall short of Gods glory. and we all made some bad decisions before we knew Christ. Thanks be to God who gave his life and washed away our sins

It really doesnt matter what decisions we make reguarding getting pregnant or preventing pregnancy, if God wants a child to be born, one way or another it will be born!

Here is some information conserning artificial insemination

Even though artificial insemination is not mentioned in the bible, we can still get biblical principles that apply to it

God intended that pregnancy occur within the bond of marriage between a man and a woman -- who are married to each other. Adam and Eve were told to multiply and replenish the earth. According to the Bible, pregnancy is to occur between the man and a woman who are married to each other. Sexual relations outside of the marriage relationship, is either rape, adultery, or fornication. God condemns these as being morally wrong and thereby sinful.

If a married couple is having a problems getting pregnant and artificial insemination is recommended by a doctor, then it is acceptable under the following conditions.
Only the sperm and egg of the married couple are involved.

Only one egg is fertilized and implanted.

As long as both the egg and the sperm are from the same married couple, then I can see no problem with this process. After all, both the egg in the sperm belonged to the married couple and there is no intrusion of seed from outside that marriage bond. If the married couple accepts the sperm from another man (a man outside of the marriage bond with that woman), then she is inviting the intrusion of another man's seed into herself. This is an adulterous occurrence.
In addition, if the process of artificial insemination involves the fertilization of many eggs with only one being implanted in the womb of the mother, this is not acceptable since the other fertilized eggs must then be discarded. This is not an acceptable option for a Christian couple.
Christian marriage is a covenant between the husband and wife with God and people as witnesses. This covenant is taken seriously by the Lord. It should also be taken seriously by the couple. God knows all situations and circumstances and is in complete control. If a Christian couple cannot get pregnant and if the only way the wife can get pregnant is through the donation of sperm from a man outside of the marriage bond, then it is best to avoid that pregnancy. Otherwise, the couple is inviting into the woman's body the seed of another man -- which is adultery. It is better that if the couple desires to have children, they should adopt. This prevention of pregnancy could be a means by which the Lord arranges for couples to adopt, thereby, taking care of other children.

Even if this was a sin a confesion from a true heart would wipe it away

I think Lori is an amazing women she doesnt claim to be perfect, she comforts other women who suffer and trys to comfort and inspire them with her experience and the word of god

God Bless you Lori, It is such a blessing to have found you and this wonderful encouraging web-site

Lori

Mar 16th, 2008 - 8:23 AM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

That is awesome Shakes. Thank you!
I am off now to church, so want to respond later.

This women is banned from the forum-many repeated attacks through the years...and relentless. But I think I will leave this one as it gives me something more to talk about later and it gave you such a great response!!!.

What an awesome response Shakes. God Bless you !!!!!!
Lori

Lori

Mar 17th, 2008 - 4:46 PM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Gen 50:20

I would like to acknowledge what the attacking woman here is talking about:

Under certain "religious beliefs", to 'spill man's seed' is forbidden and considered a sin. (seed of Onan-Old testament) But many Christians believe that this scripture refers to - The sin of being in disobedience to God in not carrying on the family line...

I had written on the "infertility page" about 10 years of trouble trying to conceive. My husband & I went for sperm testing. We had a funny time trying to collect that sperm. He did not use pornography while retrieving the sperm. It was a sexual act between him and I.

This is quite silly and really did not need a response as I could have just deleted that post, but perhaps this will help someone out there reading, I hope and pray.

Relations with our husbands in many ways can spill the seed. It does not always have to be actual intercourse- it can be oral sex, foreplay etc... Intercourse between a married couple is not a sinful act. Have fun!!!! Our pastor preaches on sex sometimes and always tells us to enjoy each other and please I ask YOU to to find a way that is not painful.

In my opinion only and I may be wrong about this-but for me at least if I was in pain during, I think that I would somehow turn it into a resentment towards him in some way and it would hurt our relationship. There are many ways that are not painful.

We obey because we are saved by the blood of the lamb! He has the power to change hearts, our thoughts process and everything about us when he comes to live inside us!
Lori

God bless YOU who are reading!

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” Isaiah 1:18

Friend Of The Forum

Mar 18th, 2008 - 10:16 AM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

WAY TO GO LORI!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, here is a man's perspective on your last post. My wife and I are approaching 23 years of marriage. We are blessed with one child. She has SUFFERED with endo for all 23 years and more of our marriage. By God's strength and my love for her, I have remained faithful to her all these years. Several years ago, I virtually refused to have intercourse with her because it caused her such pain. Even today, it has to be her decision. We too came from a belief system that sex had to be "intercourse only and you better be planning on having a baby if you do it." Finally, she and I made the decision that the Bible says to render due benevolence to each other and see to each others needs. It also states that the marriage bed is undefiled. We decided that it was between us and God what our sex life consisted of. You are absolutely right about spouses enjoying one another however they can. It is very convenient for others to judge when they don't have to LIVE the trial that endometriosis can bring. So, a tip of the hat tooya Lori. You have helped so many of us and that's coming from a man.

Your friend

Steph

Mar 18th, 2008 - 1:32 PM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

Hi Shakes...to respond to your original post (& maybe even help with talking to your niece?) I just want to say two things.

1. Both my husband and I were sexually active in the past but we waited (during our relationship) for our honeymoon and let me tell you, it was a world of difference between the past and now! However, there are many things that still haunt us from past relationships. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that the wait is worth it and just because you end a previous sexual relationship doesn't mean it is no longer a part of who you are.

2. I used to work with a group on campus that was a part of the Sexual Health and Relationship Violence Prevention office and we often ran campaigns, gave speeches, etc. on how to form healthy relationships. While we did talk about birth control, we also made sure student knew that 75% of our campus (based on a student survey) was abstinent (CDC definition includes being abstinent of all forms of sexual "play" such as oral, vaginal, etc. -- not all feel the same way about what defines abstinence) and that it was the ONLY way to reliably prevent STIs/STDs and pregnancy (even the CDC says so!). Being abstinent also helps to lower your likelihood of relationship violence whether in the form of stalking, assualt, or sexual assault. (Don't ask me why, I don't know) Sadly it doesn't affect your overall possibility of sexual assault (1 in 4 women by the time they exit college and 1 in 6 men during their lifetime will be assaulted -- and these are just the REPORTED cases)

Ok, enough rambling. I don't know if this will help, but I know it sure made a difference in my life. I only wish i'd known sooner that my decisions regarding sex really would make a difference in all my future relationships (especially the one with the hubs!).

God bless,
Steph

Cathy

Mar 29th, 2008 - 10:43 AM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

I feel I can be honest here. I was just in a relationship. My friends were encouraging me to have sex, but I said no. Then, the relationship broke up. I am so glad, happy, and relieved that I stuck to my personal guide of morals and did not engage in premartial sex. Looking back on the situation, I feel proud of myself. And the nice thing about this website is I can say that openly and know others will understand. Thank you!

shakes

Apr 4th, 2008 - 7:09 PM

Re: Why Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

I apprechiate all of your responses Thanks! I really want to teach my nieces to wait and have them understand why. It pleases God and will protect you from heart ache and disease.

I had sex before I was married. I didn't really know God back then I only prayed when I wanted something. Later I learned about having a relationship with God.

I did however make my man wait two years before I finally gave myself to him.
We have been married now for 11 years together for 14. God gave us to beautiful sons before I had a hysterectomy due to my endometriosis.

I feel like because I made him wait he had a chance to really fall in love with me. If a man really loves you he will wait! I wish I would of kept waiting and did things the right

Praise God for His forgiveness and Grace

I agree with the gentlmen who commented about sex there have been many times I hurt so bad or had a surgery and just could not have relations with my husband. I think as long as two consenting married people want to explore each otheres bodies there is nothing wrong with that.

The Bible says that "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4).

Scripture never says what a husband and a wife are or are not allowed to do sexually. Husbands and wives are instructed, "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time "
(1 Corinthians 7:5).

Whatever is done, it should be mutually agreed upon. No one should be encouraged or pressured to do something they are uncomfortable with or think is wrong. If a husband and wife both agree that they want to try something like oral sex, different positions, sex toys, etc. the Bible doesn’t give any reason why they cannot give it a try.

However, There are a few things that should not be allowed sexually for a married couple. Wife swapping or bringing in an extra person (threesomes, foursomes, etc.) It is adultery (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). Adultery is sin even if your spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it.

Pornography appeals to the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes (1 John 2:16) and is therefore condemned by God as well. Other than these two things there is nothing that Scripture specifically forbids a husband and wife to do with each other as long as it is by mutual consent

So go enjoy your spouses!!!

	Support for endometriosis sufferers Welcome! You are not alone. I hope you find hope and many friends here! Please show respect for my Christian faith . This site is not a substitute for Dr. visits. NO soliciting please. Lori
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