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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 9) |
| Author | Comment |
Krissy
 Apr 23, 08 - 8:58 PM |
New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
Hi Ladies, I'm new to this site, and hate to have to ask right away, but I could really use your prayers. I have had issues with endo since I was 12 (actually diagnosed via lap at 19). A few months ago I was told that we had really come to the end of the road of options and the only one left was a hyst-I was totally fine with that, but I was just laid off from my job, so without insurance surgery was not an option. On top of that, my doctor whom I loved let me know he was moving out of state. I still do not have a job, but pain got so bad last month that I went to see my new doc (refered by the old doc). Again he confirmed that a hyst would be my best option, I was still okay with that, but again the $$. He put me onto Lybrel, to see how that would work in the meantime. Fast forward to last week, the pain again increased. I was thinking I would have to go back in but tryig to wait it out. Then Thursday night, there was a knock on the door (I am living at my parents house)...who should be standing there but my first boyfriend. It was great to see him, although a bit weird. We hung out for a couple of hours (with his little sister-who I've loved) and once he drove away I was hit with emotions that just came out of left field!! I was up the whole night crying andI actually ended up in the docs office the next day, because I think the stresss really added to my pain, and it went through the roof. While the the doc again was discussing the hyst and all of the sudden that was not longer an option to me! The idea of takingaway the ablility to have a baby was totally out to me -I have always planned to adopt, so this was an odd emotion for me. I'm really not sure about any of this feeling!!! Medically we are now looking into putting me on Syneral (but I have to apply for assistance). Now I really don't know what is going on with my emotions!!!! Although part of me will always love him I don't thinke that is what is going on, as he has joined a cult. Just writing those words has brought me to tears!!! I think there is just a lot of emotions going on, I'm heartbroken by this choice of his, and I feel like I failed him (if we were together this would not have happened-he was going to church with my family). I feel angry with him in a way for the problems in my life-he broke up with me a couple months after my endo issues started to flare up, although it was not until months later that I started with constant doctors appointments. I have made some really bad choices in my life- I got married at 20, and am now divorced (he was an abusive guy). And that would not have happend if I had not been suffering emotionally from the endo, and feeling like my fertility would be gone before I ever got married. My ex boyfried was also my best friend, and I really lost a lot when he broke up with me. And with all the craziness that endo brings, I really could have used him to talk to!!! I once asked for him while coming out of surgery, and my sis had to explain who he was to the nurse. I just have such a flood of emotions and feelings that I don't know what to do! I've been devistated again my his choices-that he is so happy about, but are braking my heart! I'm feeling so guilty and upset about my past choices. I'm so angry that I have endo and I feel like all of these problems stem from that!! I feel like I have done nothing with my life and I feel so alone! I'm so mad at God at myself, and at my Ex boyfriend. I'm so sorry to any of you that have made it this far into reading this! I really don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this!! I don't have great support from my family. I have been crying very close to non-stop for a full week now! And I really have so much emotion I don't know what to do about it. I could really really use your prayers!! -for being able to trust in God and his plan, and allowing him to work that in my life -that the Syneral will work to control my endo and pain -that I get a job (I had an interview on Monday, and I would love to have that job I really feel that it would be so great for me!) -that I am able to get my emotions under control, and work through all of these problems in my life -that my friend comes back to God!! Please pray the God speak to his heart and that he is listening and comes back to God!!! -that I can learn to accept my life that is out of my control and that I can make the steps to improve the things in my control -that I can become closer with God, I feel like I have trust issues with him that I can't seem to get past I feel very blessed that God brought me to this site, it is so great to see a group so willing to be so open about their faith, and seem to have such a love for the Lord. (I want that in my life) I really appreciate you reading this! I'd really love to have your prayers, and I looke forward to reading more of the wonderful things I've seen on this site! Love, Krissy |
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Steph
Apr 24th, 2008 - 4:59 PM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
May the Lord cradle you in His arms and bring you just what you need in this time of trial. May the Lord soften your ex's heart to Him and prepare your heart for what lies ahead. May the Lord bring a miracle to world. All these and more we ask in His most precious name, Your son, Jesus Christ. Amen. My hugs to you. God Bless you Krissy for all you have endured! |
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Allisyn
Apr 25th, 2008 - 4:05 AM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
just wanted to let you that I am praying for you! sometimes those few words can heal the brokenhearted and remember that God loves you and that love is all that matters. Dont run out on your faith...you've come so far! God Bless. |
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Krissy
Apr 28th, 2008 - 11:02 AM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
Thank you both so much for your prayers!! and your words, it means so much to me that people who do not even know me are so willing to listen to my concrens and to take the time and care to pray for me!!! |
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becca
May 1st, 2008 - 5:37 PM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
Krissy, I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for you. I also have a guy friend who has strayed from the Lord. Becca |
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Emily
May 1st, 2008 - 6:14 PM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
Krissy, Just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you all week. I hope that you're feeling better both physically & mentally. (I think that both are closely intertwined)!! Still praying for you :) How was your interview on Monday? God Bless, Emily |
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Krissy
May 1st, 2008 - 9:12 PM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
Thank you so much! I am still in such a state I don't know what to do with myself! I am trying so hard to remind myself of all the little ways that I can see good in the situation. And trying remind myself that God is in control, and His plan is better than any I could come up with even if I can't see it. I just still feel like my heart is so broken! I thought the interview went really well, but since I have not heard back from them, I think they felt differently. I am trying to be okay with it, and trust God to send me to the right job. But I could really do with having a job to take my mind off things! Thank you for all of your words and prayers they help remind me that no matter how I am feeling, I am truly blessed. Becca, I have added your friend to my list of prayer request-may God touch our friends lives and bring them back to Him! |
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Ang8201
Jun 14th, 2008 - 9:17 AM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
I will keep you in my prayers. I to have felt at times that because of my endo I was doing nothing with my life. But it gets better. Don't ever give up on God because he will never give up on you. Also what is Syneral. I see everyone talking about it. It is one of the few things I have not tried or read about. Let me know if it helps any. 
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Krissy
Jun 16th, 2008 - 7:04 PM |
Re: New Here and could use prayers (VERY LONG)
Hey Ang, The Synarel is a nasal spray that is similar to Lupron. So far I am still in that "it gets worse before it gets better" stage, and not loving it! But I'm trying to stay positive- right now, I'm just in even more pain. But I've heard from others who had no luck with Lupron that they loved the Synarel. Thanks for your prayer and kind words! It's nice to have others who can understand how I'm feeling. I'm actually starting back to school with 1 class this summer, then 2 in fall, you know easing into it, so I don't over do it and burn out. |
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