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Tomorrow's Fears

Will I wake up tomorrow, Will this all be a dream,
Will I sleep tonight, Will I just sit up and stare,
Will I walk tomorrow, Will I get out of my chair,
Will the darkness of night, bring me into day,
Will I stand on my own, or need your arm dear,
Will you be here to hold me, Will always stay near,
Will the shaking ever stop, Will ever the fear,
Will my eyes stay open, Will my smile be the same,
Will the face in the mirror, ever look like me again,
Will the laughter I hear, be coming out of me,
Will I be part of the world, still part of the family,
Will you remember who I was, Who I still am inside,
Will friends come to visit, Will it be me they recognize,
Will the children outside, laugh and stare at me,
Will you know I LOVE YOU, that will always be,
Will I ever be so lucky, to know you feel the same,
Will I still see love in your eyes, or only pain,
Will you stay with me forever, our hearts entwined,
Will I wake up tomorrow, Will this all be a dream?


We Carry On!

Life does not end with a diagnoses of Parkinson's disease,we carry on. We don't just sit an ask why, we carry on. We meet people, we make friends, and we continue to live our lives. We might marry, have a baby, just because we have Parkinson's dosen't mean we quit living. We find an inner strenght we never knew we had. We stay active in different ways, helping others with inspiration, and with needed information. We are full of hope that one day there will be a cure. Just imagine if for one day you didn't have Parkinson's, whatwould you do in those 24 hours, i'd like to think not to much different than what you would do with it. So my point is, even though we have PD we carry on, we carry the torch handed to us, and will hand the torch to the next generation one day. god bless this group mike lamb

From the Valley to the Mountain

From the Valley to the Mountain
Michael J. Church

Those who are broken hearted take heed. For in times of sorrow and great despair, we are learning. Our creator, God is molding and shaping us through our difficulty and are assured that He will bring us through safely and with a new spirit.

We all know and perhaps can recite from memory the 23rd Psalm. In fact, I am sure since being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, you have walked through some dark valleys yourself. How comforting are the words of the writer to know that in his darkest hour, God was by his side.

I remember going through a period of depression about five years ago. Recently divorced, lost my job, struggling financially and moved 300 miles away hoping to make a fresh start. You could have guessed, all those things followed me and hit me like a ton of bricks. All I could do was crawl out of the rubble, get on my knees before God and admit that I wasn’t in control of my life anymore. My life was in shambles, my spirit broken and those around me, family and friends were walking on eggshells to say the least. They didn’t know how to take me.

I used to say, that when a man loses everything material including his pride, self-esteem and ego, there he finds himself staring face to face with his true character. It is then, he decides to get up, dust off and begin again. Essentially that is exactly what I did. I accepted the fact that I have PD and not the other way around. I began to realize as I reflected upon my life, that in my pursuit of material things and riches, that I had missed life itself. The warm sun on my face, a cool breeze through my hair, raindrops on my tongue. How cool is that?

As I began my new life, one with Parkinson’s, I soon discovered a whole new way of living. A celebration if you will, of life itself. I now invest in sunsets and bird songs, the feel of the morning dew on my toes as I walk through the grass. I value the smell of pine trees while walking through the forest and the sound of waves as they gently fall on shore, depositing with them shells and grains of sand. I sometimes am so overcome with it all, that I cry tears of joy when I think of what I’ve missed and yet, it took a thing like PD to awaken me to this world and all the glorious things God has given us. He has lifted me out of my valley of despair and placed me on the mountain top for all to see. And there I will stand, rejoicing in my new life, with PD and offer hope and encouragement to those still in the valley. But know in your heart, that your time in the valley is not a permanent one, for you too, can have a new life like me and that as the 23rd Psalm says, “…my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.”

My friends, there is plenty of room on the mountain top and the view is spectacular. So take my hand and come on up, “you gotta see this.”


23rd Psalm

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me besides quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, They comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

nice little writings

i found these two pieces of writing while browsing this morning - thought i'd share them with u,
love rosie xoxox

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Recommend Message 1 of 11 in Discussion

From: JustDavid10 (Original Message) Sent: 12/07/2003 08:55
I Stand Alone With My PD

When I woke this morning the sun was shining through my window, I went over to look out. This truly is a beautiful place, a typical English country scene, lush green grass, woods and rolling hills. Almost perfect, except that here I am isolated from the main stream. In my community, I stand alone with my PD.

But toady is Wednesday and it’s when I go to the local town, do a little shopping, go to the library and usually I have lunch somewhere. I go alone because it’s my way of defying the inevitable, of refusing to give in. My wife disapproves; I think she worries about my safety.

As I wander around the mall window-shopping, I keep my left hand in my pocket, it shakes a little, I look just like all the other people, for a while feel normal. Then as I often do, I fall. I don’t know why it happens; I’m just like a puppet with the strings cut on one side.

As I lay on the floor folk just walk by, I stand alone with my PD. A kindly stranger stops to help, ‘are you ok young man’ she said. ‘Could you just help me up’ I reply. Well that’s what my brain said, my mouth just slurred and dribbled. ‘Disgusting’ she said, ‘not even lunch and drunk already’. As she walked away she gives me a sharp prod in the ribs with her walking stick. I stand alone with my PD

By now I’m shaking real bad, can I get a cab to stop for me! I stand alone with my PD.

Home at last, to the comfort of my wife’s care. She looks after me so well. I don’t know how I’d cope without her. She sees no PD. ‘Why don’t you log on and chat to your friends for a while’, ‘that always makes you feel better’. A few mouse clicks later and I’m in. Great there are 14 chatters, ‘Hi all, how is everyone today’, ‘BRB, phones ringing’ says one, and ‘Time for dinner’ says another. Within two minutes there’s 1 chatter, ‘Hi’ said I ‘how are you’, ‘I fell today at the mall’ he said

I stand alone with my PD

part 2

From: lizzard (Original Message) Sent: 13/07/2003 02:47
It's still me even if I I dont smile alot it still me..can you hear me
even if I cant remember every thing you said its me ...can you hear me
even if my foot drags a bit its still me...can you hear me
even if I shake a bit its still me..can you hear me
even if a take a while in the bathroom it still me...can you hear me
even if a get tired alot its still me....can you hear me
even if I hurt always its still me....can you hear me
even if I sit and stare ..its still me..can you hear me
even if I'm a bit slower its still me...can you hear me
I'm screaming inside CAN YOU HEAR ME....

David is not alone with pd as we're all here for each other - but i think it reflects how we feel at times,
as for 'can u hear me' - i've been there saying those same things in my head.
Be strong and stay in control.
God bless
Rosie oxoxoxx

Living Large in a small world

Encouragement of the Day
Name: Michael J Church
Date Posted: Feb 17, 05 - 8:39 PM
IP Address:
in a small world

Each day as I awake from my slumber, be it sound or more of a restless type, I realize that I've developed a certain routine of sorts that helps me adjust to the daily onslaught of reality while living and coping with PD. So as the morning sunshine greets me through the shade, I begin to engage in a kind of mental negotiation with my body. I compare it to the preflight procedure that an astronaut undertakes before taking to space. It goes something like this:

Oh man, is it morning already? That was the quickest hour and a half I've ever seen. Well, I guess, I'd better get this day started.'d the alarm clock get on the floor? And why is it in 2 pieces?

"Good Morning God...its me again. I don't mean to complain but, I'm still here and need your help today. Okay? Hello...God? Oh, there you are."

All right...lets begin our pre-day initial start up procedure. Symptoms present: aches, pains, stiffness, blurry vision, dry mouth, weakness ... check! Initiating medication override, check! A few minutes later... begin rollover and sit up maneuver, ow, ow ow ... God? are you still there? Maneuver completed! Next, Verify all systems go for launch of feet on floor and stand up scenario, check! "Go for launch! Whoa, we're a little shaky Houston but moving forward. I can begin to see a large white image coming into focus. Yes, is our docking port for the next few minutes...roger!"

Then comes refueling procedure. This involves a walk to the kitchen region of the galaxy where a delicate balancing act of water, ground beans and machinery interact to created a life giving substance I call caffeine. Following the daily routine of coffee, depending how trashed the kitchen is from last nights midnight snack raid by the alien race (aka teenage daughters), there may be a bagel, doughnut or something available (initial search finds only crumbs...sleep over). From this point, if prior systems have succeeded in functioned properly, a routine of prayer, news and preparation for the days events.

I call this daily ritual living large in a small world. Whether you realize it or not, the world to which I refer is our very own PD Family or community of those with PD. It is relatively small compared to other disease plagued groups (just over a million), however do not think that our numbers make PD less important than say, Alzheimer's or Lou Gherig's Disease. There is not one important over the other!

The point I am trying to make here is that each and everyday that God gives us, is a new opportunity, to others, perhaps a challenge, that must be overcome. We cannot fail to live or surely we will succeed at dying. So, when that sun comes up and says, "time to rise," despite the pain, the stiffness or weakness, we must accept the challenge that each new day brings. It doesn't matter that it takes some of us hours just to get out of bed. It does not matter if we can't stand straight, or walk normal, or even for some, to get out of bed on their own. What matters most, is that we determine in our minds to take a stand against that PD Monster, each and everyday. So even if you can only crawl or shuffle or limp, make that your goal. For when you accomplish even the smallest feat, you can stand tall and say, "Today, I win," and as for the PD Monster...loser!

This, my friends, is what I refer to as "LIVING LARGE in a small world."

Be encouraged today!

Michael J Church
Ex. Dir.

This Encouragement of the Day is a program of Movers & Shakers, a Parkinson Support and Advocacy Organization networking with ALL to reach those with PD in finding a cure and improving the quality of life. Reproduction/use of this EOD is highly encouraged and all authorization given, expressly or implied to use it in a manner consistent with improving the life, attitude or current mental state of its intended target. For more information or additional material, contact: Movers & Shakers, 15275 Collier Blvd. #201 Box 151 Naples, FL 34119 http// - email @ - (239) 304-2241


It has taken me 2 days to get it all together, but I feel it needs to be shared.

For the past several years the 4th of July has come and gone with little participation from me. I have always LOVED the festivities, the crowds of people CELEBRATING being American, and all that goes with that. My fondest of all have been, of course, THE FIREWORKS. Even better when they are set to music that makes your heart skip a beat, and a tear come to your eye.
As a child, I can remember every year, wide-eyed in amazement as the colors and sounds danced in the sky. The fun part was seeing if you could handle all of the BIG booming ones without covering your ears.
Even as an adult, the 4th of July was a day for CELEBRATING!! Beach parties, sailing, backyard BBQ's, Parades, good friends & family.
For a brief 24 hour period, we come together as a nation to celebrate being a citizen of the Land of the FREE and home of the BRAVE. We celebrate our INDEPENDENCE, our FREEDOM!

I thought back through the last six 4th of July's. I could not bring myself to celebrate. As my Parkinson's took hold, I found that crowds frightened me, parties wore me out, and the BANGS and BOOMS along with the light show in the sky were too much for my brain to handle. In fact I remember one year my 4th consisted of shakily holding a single sparkler and pretending to write my name in the air.
I came to see that I had nothing to celebrate! What FREEDOM! I was trapped in this body that was not working like it should anymore. What INDEPENDENCE? It was fast escaping me. My idea of the 4th became sitting home while everyone else went to do the party and firework thing and watching the Boston Pops on PBS.

But something changed this year. I found myself coming home from traveling SOLO to Chicago, I looked at this group, this WONDERFUL group, and all that we are accomplishing TOGETHER. I found the FREEDOM. I began to look forward to INDEPENDENCE DAY.
So, I found myself in the company of special people having a BBQ, piling into a van, and making our way to Naples Pier with a cooler and chairs. The beach had most of the county on it. I could feel myself tense a few times, as we made our way through the crowd. We happened to sit next to a youth group who were singing songs, I found myself clapping and smiling. Huge speakers were set up to broadcast the music that would play while we watched the show in the sky. OH! What a show it was!!!
I found myself smiling and dealing with the loud BOOMS with anticipation, and began to reflect on MY FREEDOM.

Too long I allowed PD to take that away from me. What I also realized is that we know that there are others who while they may live in this great country, do not feel FREE, they are like ME 6 years ago, dealing with this disease, needing someone to come along and give them a hand with it.

From this year on I will remember when I see fireworks that it stands for FREEDOM! I was free the other night, I shook, I got a little nervous as the sea of people swarmed to exit the beach with me in middle of it, but by the grace of God, I DID IT!! Loved every moment of it, and can't wait to do it again next year!!!

HAPPY 4th of July!!

Gretchen Garie
Movers & Shakers


Every once in a while, a story comes along that just tugs at your heart strings and makes you really think about life and how precious it is. This is one such story and I thought I would share it with all of you. This is a true story of two brothers, it made me think of the relationship I have with my own brother, Rick. I dedicate this story to him.

Born of German immigrants, during the 1940’s in a small farming community of Ohio called Stuebenville, James and Travis Hansen, sons of Lutz and Gwendolyn born just eleven months apart. Travis was the oldest. Growing up together, James looked up to his older brother, Travis and both maintained a very close relationship. Some said they were inseparable.

Both had blond hair, sturdy builds and great athletes. Academically, they were very good students. James and Travis were always together, studying, working and playing. Although they were a year apart in school, Travis stayed out of school his freshman year of high school so that he and James could play sports and graduate together. Stories still exist of how they blocked for each other in football and passed to each other in basketball, how Travis pitched and James caught in baseball. They even double dated and most girls would tell you, it didn’t matter which one you went with, because you had a feeling that you were out with both of them.

When they graduated, it was during the time of the Korean conflict. They both registered for the draft, and when inducted under the “buddy system,” they went to basic training together and later were assigned to the same unit, the same company. They arrived at the Yalu River, North of Panmunjom in January 1950, during a time of a major offensive.

Normally they received their duties together, but one night, James was assigned to a routine perimeter patrol designed to prevent enemy encroachment on their position. The patrol was ambushed and only two members struggled back to camp to report the disaster. James did not come back.

When word reached Travis, he went immediately to his commanding officer and requested permission to go and search for his brother. It was denied. The place of the ambush was assumed to be overrun by the enemy and it would be suicide to send a rescue team. Travis quietly explained his need to go, and even here, in this cold, barren, forbidding setting, the commanding officer realized that the boy was going to go, with or without permission.
He finally said that although he could not grant permission, he would not prevent his leaving. Travis spoke to the other two men who had made it back, learned the location of the ambush, and set out to search for James. It was completely dark, unbearably cold and perhaps hopeless that even if he found James, that he would be alive.

All through that dark night he searched, and just as the first light of dawn pierced the blackness, he located the place. He moved quickly from one frozen, shattered body to another, frantically searching, turning over body after body without success and then he found him; nearly frozen, mortally wounded, but alive. He cradled the head of his dying brother in his lap and wept. James opened his blood stained eyes, and with the last of his strength whispered, “Is that you, Travis? I knew you’d come…I’ve been waiting.” It was the last thing he said and died a short time later.

Some would say, is the power of love really that strong? I tell you YES! James trusted his brother because of the love between them, because love always produces a covenant of trust. He waited because he knew that if the situation were reversed, he would come or die trying. Because of his absolute faith, not just in his brother, but in the power of love itself, he found the strength, had the hope to stay alive, to wait for him to come.

We trust God because he has shown us and taught us love. His love has created a covenant between us and him. We trust God because we know him and believe that he loves us. We trust each other for the same reason. Because of our absolute faith in God’s unfailing, steadfast love, we find patience and the courage in the hour of our greatest need, to overcome this world and to wait for him to come.


I’ve been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease for 10 years now and have been pretty optimistic throughout it all. But, like many other people with PD, I’ve had my share of down times too. It has been those times that the love of my younger brother Rick, has faithfully been there for me.

Michael J. Church



Friends ask what magic I know,
What secrets for happiness I hold,
My answer is simple and true,
I love myself as I love you,

What can I say, what can I do,
To ease this burden from you,
If I had some magic words to say,
I would shout them out right away,

But magic is not something I do,
Even though I would learn for you,
But I think the magic lye’s within,
All you have to do is reach right in,

It’s really no secret once you’ve tried,
You’ll find it again, time after time,
The magic is not just mine or for a few,
The magic is also inside of you.



When and Then

When your shoulder is hurting and nearly making you cry
When your whole body freezes, won’t move as much you try
When your limbs keep on flaying but they stop by and by
When your tablets don’t work and you don’t know why

When your voice is soft and you can’t blink an eye
When you have trouble, tying up that shoe lace and tie
When you can’t turn in bed how much you may try
When you are unable to cut up your meat pie

When your wriggling and twisting stops, that you can rely
When you get fed up complaining, to doctors so high
When you say its all to much and really that’s a lie
When you have dropped your bundle and had a good cry

Then you pull up your socks and get of your bum
Then you remember all the great things that you’ve done
Then you have to try harder this challenge has to be won
Then you can say I will beat this disease called Parkinson.

By Brian England
Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Seven Year Old Inside!


Do you remember when you were a kid, say about seven years old. The world was full of wonder. You and your friends could become whatever your imagination allowed. The vacant lot or field near your house became some foreign land, cardboard boxes or scrap wood became a club house or a pirate ship.

On a hot summer day, the sprinklers going off in your neighbors yard was cause for celebration, as you all cooled off running through them, running from the imaginary sea monster chasing you. You lived in the moment! Even if a disagreement or the disruption of your mother calling you to come in did not dampen your spirit long because there was always tomorrow.

Why is it that as we grow up, we forget that seven year old that still is inside of us. We get so caught up in being an adult we forget to enjoy with wild abandon LIFE! We battle the monsters of bills, illness, stress, and other adult problems. Where is it written that we must stop playing!

Sometimes, I think we need to be reminded to STOP and look at the world through the eyes of that child. If we want to experience life to the fullest we must remember to be seven again, even if it only for a little bit. The hardest part is remembering to do this when things seem to be at their darkest. However, that is when we have to go find a sprinkler or a fort.

The other day, I lost my ATM card, and a gift card to the grocery store,that was going to provide food for the rest of the month for me and my daughter. So, I had no cash, no access to any, a little food in the house, and I had no idea what had happened to these cards. I was fighting a monster! I tore the house apart, retraced my steps and remembered using my ATM card at the corner convenience store the night before.

I got on my very stylish red scooter, as my van is non operational, and scooted to the store to inquire if someone had found my cards. Hopeful, I entered the store and prayed that they had been found.... NO SUCH LUCK!

Dejected, I scooted my way back home, preparing myself to call the bank, cancel my ATM card, and deal with what lay ahead. I was being very adult! I was not in a good mood!
As I came around the corner on my street, I was met with the sight of a mother duck and her SIXTEEN (I counted) ducklings. I stopped scooting. I laughed as the one at the end of the line was trying desperately to find tidbits of something to snack on and would fall on his face every few steps as he tried to peck at the ground. Mama Duck would stop her brood and wait for him to catch up. I suddenly found that seven year old inside of me!

As she decided to cross the street, I moved my scooter into the middle of the road, to prevent any cars from harming this adorable family. A woman in her SUV pulls up, slows to a stop, and became seven again, as she grabbed a camera and smiling took a picture of this sight. Two maintenance workers in their golf cart, came on the scene. Elbowing each other and smiling, they too became seven again! Time stopped for all of us as we watched this family make their way across the street and into the shade of a tree.

Suddenly, lost cards, wherever the SUV lady was rushing off too, or rushing through a maintenance job were not important. We were living right there in THAT moment! As I slowly scooted off, I had to smile, and thank God for reminding me to stop and see the wonders of His world. I had a smile on my face the rest of the day.

So, I offer a challenge or a reminder to all. No matter how bad the day may seem, if you can find something that puts a smile on your face, gives you a laugh, or helps you even for a moment live life with the wonder of that seven year old, you will start to see that wonder more and more!

By the way, when I got home, I found another ATM card for my account, and the next day, a friend of mine, who knew about my misplaced cards, handed me a gift card to the grocery store. WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE!
What are you going to do today to LIVE life?!

Gretchen Garie
President Movers & Shakers Inc.

Melinda you inspired this. Thanks!

Re: Brothers

Beautiful story! My Father was in WWII, Battle of the Bulge, infantry, 3rd Army, under General Patton. He didn't like to talk about the war, because he saw too much! He enlisted at 17. He lost his hearing from working the big guns, no earplugs then. He didn't want anything from the government. He said "I did my duty to my Country." But I remember him saying one very important saying, "There are no Athesists in foxholes or on deathbeds!" He died in 2012 in a Veteran's Nursing Home of stage 5 bone carcinoma.
He was my Hero, because he adopted me and loved me.
Daughter of 2 Veteran Fathers in WWII.
God bless America!
Long may our πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Wave!
God bless you! I now pray for soldiers and understand their PTSD, because I have that + PD(early onset-55 diagnosed officially)
Now almost 10 years later, I'm still here!
I'm Blessed!

Re: Brothers


Let me first say thank you for the sacrifices your family has endured through the faithful service of our country. Second, thank you for sharing your story. Parkinson's is a battle unto itself. We must approach it cautiously, carefully and with due diligence gathering ammunition in order to seize the right moment and attack, gain the upper hand and move forward with our lives. There is no question that PD is a horrible disease and progresses ever slowly, taking our quality of life thereby changing us forever but the victory is ours for the taking by inspiring stories of overcoming obstacles as we go. If you are so encouraged, pass it on along with God's blessings for a successful win over PD. Pass it on!


I go through life day by day hoping my wife would look my way.
I lay in bed longing for her touch and thinking to myself am I expecting to much.
I wake up at night and cant go back to sleep, so I gaze at my wife and admire her beauty while she sleeps
I walk through the house in the dark and cold as tears fill my eyes I wish I had my wife to hold.
I try to express to her the way I feel but all I get is a strange look and a voice saying are you for real.
I tell her I wish she could be a man for just one day so she could feel the testosterone race through her veins.
I am not perfect and I’ve made my mistakes and they race through my mind almost everyday.
I tell my wife she is the only medicine that I need and she looks down her nose and says don’t place all the blame on me.
I think my wife is very beautiful and sexy indeed and when I see her my heart skips a beat.
I sometimes awake and sit in the hallway leading to the back door and cry my eyes out because I cant handle much more
The few times my wife touches me it sends a jolt of electricity running through me ,this feeling energizes my heart and soul and gives me a reason to keep fighting on
I try to think of ways to get my wife interested in me and I’ve gotten so desperate that I offered her money
I get told by her that she is not a slut and money cant buy her feelings and touch
I wish I had the answer to all of these things that bother me because they are slowly wearing me down and killing me
I tell her that I would give my life to keep her out of harms way but if I get sick would she just toss me away
I say these things and Im not wanting your pity, just trying to keep other people from experiencing my misery
So when you go to sleep tonight just look over at your husband or wife and tell them you love them and kiss them good night.