Hey guys im getting close to finally moving out of my abusive parents home. however im feeling very skeptical about this. im worried that what if i cant pay rent one month due to shortage of clients at work and get kicked out, where would i go and that sort of things. im going to put down payment on a room thats 450 a month tommorow and wont tell my parents until the day before so they wont give me b------hit excuses why i should stay. i suppose what im looking for is encouragment to proceed with this and that things will get better, i recieve non where i am.

Hey Alex......

Move forward and don't look back.... easier said then done but if you stay your stuck. You want to be stuck?

PEACE!!!

This is where the rubber meets the road. This is where you will have to practice and implement that one thing you were not taught. That one thing that was not demonstrated. The one thing THEY will never have or know. That one thing that is earned. That one thing is TRUST!

Spot on BB

unfortunatly the room was taken by someone else. now im back to where i started. its strange but every time i attempt to make a big move in the right direction something always comes up in front of me telling me i cant. why is this always the case with me, its just not fair. iv known kids my age who their parents pay for their apartments and rooms and mine dont even bother. the better part of me says i shouldnt rage and that a more better place will be available to me soon, but the more expirienced part of me says im fu---d. its too late for me to succumb to blissful ignorance now, but still why am i having such troubles its not fair. im working hard yet nothing changes

iv thought about it and yes, maybe i do fear freedom. every morning my mind screams to me about something. it pulsates with so much pain and memory i just assumed its how i am but now i feel theres a reason for that. maybe next time i should take the oppurtunity when i can.

my parents knew something was up and that i was unsuccessful with it, somehow they always are able to sniff it out. this morning my dad was doing his shaming routine on me because i refused to eat with them last night at a restaurant and now he suddently wants me to pay for my car insurance. in other words they are punishing me for even thinking about leaving and giving me more reasons to stay. they think if i spend all of my money on insurance i wont have enough for rent, i know how their mind works. they really suck and i want to tell them that from the bottom of my heart, but i cant because of the reprisals

once again i have been looking for a place to rent to get out of my narc parents home. i found a good place and unlike last time i didnt ponder too long on it and threw down a deposit. i move in this saturday. im trying desperately to not tell my parents im leaving until saturday morning, the less time i give them to guilt me the easier it will be to go. when i tell them im going to do it civily and calmly, im not going to leave with a bad taste on my part this time. its 3am now and im having hard time sleeping in anticipation of all of this. i know that first day of leaving is going to be really hard for me, the drug of codependency is going to hit me hard but i expirienced it numerous times and it doesnt take me long to get over it (im highly adaptable:) ). i have not lived an easy life and as long as i can remember i have wanted freedom for a long time, and finally its within my grasp im going to grab it and hold it with a deathgrip like a grenade.

Hello Alex,

Good for you on getting out of there.

Concerning the co-dependency thing : take one thing at a time (food, money, clothing), and you'll find a rhythm that works for you after a while. That is also the point where you will realize that you CAN do this and be INdependent.

Let us know how it goes on Saturday.

since i cant sleep i decided to do a little packing that way i have less to do on my big day i can just pick up and go. but now i kinda want to ask my landlord if i can just move in tommorow morning. i know im being impatient but desperation has always made me act without thinking. u think i should just leave tommorow or wait?

it is time, as soon as im done typing this message im going to pack my computer and move into my new place. i told my parents this morning and now they are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. they are doing strange performances in an effort to shame me into staying. like my dad pretending to choke on his breakfast and my mom suddently falling and needs my help. not gonna work. ill let u guys know later this evening how it turns out. laters

Alex......watch this...Birdboy, I am sure you know this one.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AVQMUCacgyc&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAVQMUCacgyc

well im nice and settled into my new place. i think im going to really like it here. no rules, or at least not hypocritical ones. blazing fast internet and lotts of animals. i was greeted by 2 dogs knocking me down licking my face and 4 cats hugging up on me. and the couple that own the place seem really great. i feel like crap thats to be expected but i really good as well

Well done, son, you took the first step.

From here it's you who decides what needs to be done, without any hidden agenda/mental psych wringing/guilt throwing.

Take a rest, absorb your freedom, and then start thinking about what you need.

Feels good, in'it?

feels great:)