It has been almost 3 months since I left my ex, and 2 years since I realized my mom was a narcissist and the implications implicit to this fact.

I haven't watched pornography in about three weeks and have cut way back on smoking weed and drinking alcohol. I exercise almost every day...pull ups are a painful but quick way to get back your manly physique.

I am dating a wonderful girl. However, I almost sabotaged the budding relationship with my insecurities. As I was getting to know her I noticed myself internally twisting every compliment she gave me into a reason to distrust her...

"Your shoulders are so sexy" in my mind became "I will leave you for someone with broader shoulders"

"You are so impressive with how hard you work!" became "I will leave you for someone harder working and more wealthy"

I even got jealous because she was having a conversation with an old man at a bar...because of how whorish my mom was, I kept assuming every interaction my girlfriend had with another man meant she was seeking sexual attention.


For a little while I considered staying away from women altogether for a while. I had always dreamed of being a father and almost disregarded this dream. But i firmly believe that if you can monitor yourself and realize when you are experiencing residual damage from the evil women in your past, you can open yourself up to a truly wonderful and loving girl. I am young and was only with my ex narc a year, and I have enormous sympathy and admiration for the men leaving relationships that have lasted way longer than mine and involved children.


As the son of a narcissist mom and a dad who let her walk all over him, my opinion, for what it is worth, is walk away and be firm and clear with your kids why you walked...show your kids that putting up with abuse or abusing others is no way to go through life.

Absolutely agree with that, Bill. It is very important to be aware and mindful of the fears and memories you bring into a new relationship. As long as you are conscious of them, and where they came from, you don't fall into the error of projecting them onto the person you are now with.