Well, after a dozen or more attempts to hoover me back in we are finally in the desperation stage. She has told me that she's no longer okay with living separated and I have until Oct 1 to come home. Now, never mind that it was she that kicked me out over a year ago, then changed the locks, then filed for divorce,,, hmmmm. She has selective memory about all of that ya know. lol I swear you just can't make this stuff up.

So she has taken no responsibility for "why" we are here in the first place and has issued this ultimatum because she wants her live-in handyman back. Never once did she tell me that she missed me,(that would be a human emotion), just that she misses her lifestyle. Yeah,,, where do I sign up for that?

She hasn't changed one single thing at the house that drove us apart. Yet wants me to jump back in, and without going to counseling. Now,,, guys I know counseling is a waste of time with these NPD's. Just illustrating that she will not accept any accountability for her actions. She really expects me to be okay with this, as if she'd even be capable of change, not gunna happen. So she's hanging divorce over my head now. All I can manage to feel is "You promise?" lol

BTDT,

Yup, typical NPD behavior.

Let it go, you're better off without this person in your life. Like you said, nothing will change at home, so what's in it for you this time?

She's just getting desperate without her supply, and on the verge of starving. She basically NEEDS you to come back, and cloaks her REQUEST to you as a THREAT, so she stays in control.

From what you say, you have a pretty good case to confront her, although she'll try to rebuff and refuse any part of reality (that's what they do). I found that once you stay your calm, and keep coming with your facts, the bubble quickly bursts into a mayhem of desperate cloaked "I'm right, and you're wrong" quotes. That's all they have as backup...

Let us know how it goes, we're all ears.

BTDT

You're getting the hang of reading that narc dialog now aren't you. Be strong mate, you don't need to sign up for that load of crap.

YOU ROCK!! I GOTTA GIVE YOU PROPS BRO.. YOUR DEALIN WITH IT THE BEST WAY YOU CAN!! I REALY LIKE SEEIN YOU LAUGH! ONLY YOU SHOULD GO TO COUNSELING WITH HER MAKE SURE SHE FLIPS THE BILL, AND STRAIT UP PLAY GAMES WITH THAT TROLL, I WOULD FOR SURE!! I WOULD GO IN AND MAKE S H I T UP JUST FOR FUN!! STAY UP AND STAY HAPPY!

In my case we were not married, just a "relationship" . Anyway I said "no thanks" to her reconcilement overtures and she moved in with back up man within a week. Problem solved!

Update,

All quiet on the western front. No contact from her thus far. I did have a chance to talk to my 16 year old son at lunch yesterday. I told him of the ultimatum as I felt he was old enough to be included. He affirmed some things to me that I had never known and again stated that he wouldn't return to her house.

He went on to tell me that when her grandson forgot to do his chores around the house,(which was everyday), he was called on the carpet by her and blamed for someone else s failure. He was supposed to have "reminded" the poor innocent grandson of his responsibilities after all. Sheeesh, Of course no such accountability was visited upon the grandson when my son forgot to do a chore, which was infrequent. Sound familiar?

Then last week I had my daughter in counseling with me. She told me for the first time that her step-sister, on the eve of our wedding confided in my daughter that her mom had been married 4 times already. This is why my daughter left to live with her mom and I am just finding out 6 years later. She didn't want to spoil my happiness with my bride the next day.

These narcs always seem to give their own blood passes on all things while we and our children are the handy scapegoats for all wrongs in their lives. It was just one more confirmation that I could never expose my son or daughter to her vile double standard again. Stay tuned.

Like the song "lil miss can't be wrong"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXWbMu4PtpE

Be vewy, vewy quiet, that waskally wabbit is here somwew,,, shhhhhhh

No word yet, it's like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have no idea what she'll do. But one thing for certain, it'll be entertaining.. lol

Well, much like waiting for the W2K bug to hit, and being an IT guy I wasn't concerned, nothing really happened yesterday. No contact, which is good, no hysterics, no threats. I'm quite certain that the final chapter has not been written yet. We all know and have experienced N rage before. She'll do one of two things, rage on me, or try yet another manipulation tactic. They really are tenacious and won't give up until you either disappear or they find a new NS source.