today i had to break my NC for a brief time to go give my parents my part of the car insurance. i shouldnt have but decided to stay for a few minutes to chat. being NC for a week everything in that house was......rotten.i walked in the house and it felt like all my energy was sucked up by a vacuum.like a wall of negativity just smacked me in the face. the cats looked like they were dying, the house smelled really bad. it kinda smelled like a vampire drank all the blood of its victom and then burped the reflux all over the place and then covered it all up with a crappy febreeze spray. i had always noticed this but when i even look at my old house i felt drained, even moreso going in. my parents looked.....sick. like they were starving, yet i know that they are their normal selves.saying the same normal narc crap. now i normally dont believe what i cant see but theres something foul lurking in that house, after 1wk NC i see it even more. what are your thoughts on this?

You have that much more clarity after just one week of NC. Continue the process. You will ocntinue to get a little stronger and have more clarity as time goes on. The fog won't lift until you get away from them.

Try to find healthy activities and friends to surround yourself with. You are doing the right things.

It's called seeing the truth....

Painful, unreal, shocking, liberating exciting all rolled in to one huge ball of relief and emotion.

Every time my mother influences my life - even now - she sucks the life right out of me - even by proxy. It takes me days to recover.

Keep going Alex

I'm off for 3 weeks so I'll not be around the forum for a while. Take care Alex.

Alex,

You start seeing life from another point of view; when going back to the place of your suffering, your body remembers all the bad sensations you had there. This influences your sensors (which are for a big part subjective anyway), hence the smell and bad impressions you notice.

Living there, this was the only point of view you had, so this was considered 'normal' at the time.

Now that you've seen reality from a different perspective (relaxed and unstressed), and have something to compare to, the defects of that place become a lot more obvious.


Welcome outside, my friend...