Hi, I have finally realized that I am in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, only way to late, our apt is in my name only, her car is in my name, and I can't come close to affording this on my own. I ride a motorcycle and while we were do the interstate I admit I was going a little fast, still being past by other cars though, she told me later if she could have gotten in front of me she would have "slammed on the brakes". I have been a very gentle and I thought caring man, I have given her everything I could my heart support, engagement ring that she wanted, flowers for nothing, laundry, things around the house. I still get accused of not paying attention to the little things. our last blow up I was told that I was a spineless coward, a pu##y, and that I was terrible in bed. I have raised my voice to her only 2 times since we started dating, my father tought me to be a good hard working person, I have always thought I was, only to be put down. Her emotions can run very high or very low and she blames it on her menstrual cycle. I'm lost in a ball of emotion and don't know what to do I need some advice please, BTW she has threatened to slap me and beat the crap out of me also, never happened yet but I'm waiting

This has an eerie familiarity to it. Bet it started great though did it not? How long have you been involved with her? You need to get a handle on what you may be dealing with. Getting off the rollercoaster is the only solution to preserve your sanity. Read the articles on gettinbetter.com. We are sort of a selfautonomous collective with members at every stage of the hellride. Other than that feel free to speak about anything.....


Knowledge is power...

http://gettinbetter.com/articles.html

Will,
On the bright side, you self realized "before" the wedding!!! Whew!

We have been together for a little over two years now, everything did start out great, we both loved the same things. I was somewhat pushed into all of this getting I don't want you to feel obligated but this would really help kind of thing from her. I should have seen the signs from the get go but here I am.

I am learning a hard lesson with this relationship, the fact that we are not married yet is a good thing. I have secured a new place to live, and wrote up a budget where I could help her with rent and portion of the bills, money will be very tight but can be handled, I will get another job or two if need be.

Good to hear..... What are you riding?

I have 01 Kawasaki zx12r with 33,000 miles on it still putting down 190 hp to the wheel

Will,
Whaddup with the "budget" where you are paying a portion of her bills???? It's a romantic relationship not a divorce decree. When it's over...IT'S OVER! You a sugga daddy?
Just so you know...I was Mr. Nice Nice too... gave her a car and $6,000.00 when I moved her out... and she still robbed my house several months later for over 30 grand! Kick her to the curb!

Used to build those bikes. Best was a Kawasaki 750 triple two stroke. Ported and polished with GP chambers put 150 hp down but weighed 400lbs. The famous "widowmaker". Built a lot of Yamaha 350's that would still hold off tye New bikes on a tight track. Dam the straights though. Had access to used grand prix watercooled engines and parts in those days. Kinda had full gp bikes with lights.

Now I ride harleys.....not extreme builds but both will top 150 mph and hold it.

Birdboy knows whereof he speaks.....just skeddadle.

I wish it were that easy but every thing is in my name only, and neither one of us can afford all of that on our own

Sell the car....lightens your load and tells her something. Rented apt? Tell the manager you lost your job.....they will usually break the lease as opposed to trying to get blood from a stone. Just taking care of business.

thank you for the advice

These disordered women will never respect that which they see as weak. Give them something to worry about and make it stick. Suddenly they get the "oh shiat" look on their face. It is not to say never be nice, rather be nice at your discretion......never on command. When you think you are earning it they think you owe it. When it is at your discretion......dam the table has turned. A partner is never a person you carry on your back.

tonight is the night I talk to her may the lord grant me the strength I need...NV

Hard as it is, when you get out, her problems become her problems, not yours. You think she's sitting around trying to figure out how to help you? LOL I'm going through the same thing right now. IF it weren't for me taking our van and having no contact for the three days I've been gone, I would never have made the moves I needed to make to protect myself, to keep working, and to find a place to live. My NPD asked me could I please pay this bill and that and do X, Y and Z and if I had given in to my emotions and feelings for her and my programmed "save the chick" mentality, I wouldn't have had the money to put down a security depoist, pay my first month's rent, buy some clothes, eat, keep my phone on, swithc accounts, etc....That's what this is all about - an opportunity for me to take care of ME, do what's best for ME, and stop sacrificing for the NPD and her teenage kids who neither respect me, appreciate what I do and provide, and just take me for granted. That's what I am escaping from and I have to keep reminding myself everytime my mind tries to play nostalgic and think about the good times and what I am losing in this experience instead of what I am gaining. It really is a mind trick. So when you leave, go cold turkey. Don't pay her bills. That's not being mean, it's breaking the bad programming that got you in the situation in the first place. We already know you are a good guy for even thinking about continuing to provide for her, but that's not what's important right now. Read the post "41 Things an NPD Woman does" and if that stuff resonates with you, then think about what life would be like with someone who didn't do those things.....

Just tell her she needs to suck your Willy next Friday.......and floss first.....