Greetings Men*****eHealingandGrowing,

Two months ago, before I knew about this NPD stuff, I attempted to talk to my wife about the way I was feeling and things that needed to change. I had finally found a way to communicate what I was feeling when I read the webpage below. Of course, I thought that having an "objective" reference would allow her to see what I had been trying to explain for so long, but again, that was before I learned the NPD woman are not capable of that kind of discussion. Anyway, below is a good list of the things NPD women do:

http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=41616

How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Do you shame your husband?

Recently, I started perusing a book titled, “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.” I think the title is pretty self-explanatory. Instead of telling you what I think of the book, or what it says, I’d like to spend some time pulling out little kernels that I think you’ll benefit from. Well, actually, it’s the parts I benefited from. Starting with..

QUIZ: Do you shame your husband?

Men respond to criticism and shame by withdrawing. Beating your head against a wall because your husband doesn’t open up? Perhaps it’s b/c we’re shaming him. Find out below if you do.

After each item, check true/false if it applies to you. THEN, send your husband to this site, and ask him to take the quiz about you. Compare notes, and try not to cry or get mad… hehe..

1.I exclude him from important decisions.

2.I don’t always give him a chance to help.
3.I correct things he says.
4.I question his judgement.
5.I give him unsolicited advice.
6.I suggest how he should feel.
7.I ignore his advice.
8.I imply that he’s inadequate in certain areas.
9.I’m often in a bad mood.
10.I think that he should at least match my use of time and energy.
11.When he says I overreact, I think that he just doesn’t get it.
12.I ignore his needs that I think aren’t important.
13.I focus on what I don’t have instead of what I have.
14.I withhold praise because I think he doesn’t really deserve it or because I don’t want him to get a big head.
15.I use a harsh tone to get through to him.
16.I pay more attention to other people’s needs than to his.
17.I undermine his wishes.
18.I am condescending to him.
19.I lack respect for his work.
20.I show little interest in his interests.
21.I criticize his family.
22.I interpret the “real meaning” of what he says and does.
23.I compare him to other men or, worse, to my girlfriends.
24.I don’t take his point of view seriously.
25.I believe he just can’t see my unhappiness.
26.I think he fails to make me happy.
27.If I’m unhappy, I tell him that he must be unhappy, too.
28.I roll my eyes when I think of some of the things he says and does.
29.He says I give him “the look.”
30.I am sometimes sarcastic to make my point or express my dissatisfaction with his behavior.
31.I use ridicule to get through to him.
32.I usually have a “better way” of doing things.
33.Sometimes I think he’s a jerk.
34.I have to tell him what he’s doing wrong.
35.I tell him that he never helps me enough.
36.He can’t handle my feelings.
37.I believe that if his childhood or previous relationships were different, we wouldn’t have these problems.
38.I think that I understand relationships better than he does.
39.I think I do more than he does.
40.My friends treat me better than he does.
41.He disappoints me.