Where do I begin. I should say that I have been in and out of mental hospitals for suicidal ideation after my divorce. I've been divorced for almost 3 years now. My ex-wife was emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. What made things worse was our therapist (a woman) always seemed to blame me for problems, because my ex was a gifted actress and knew how to cry in the most convincing ways possible. NPDs are excellent actors and actresses. They're great at manipulating people.

Ok Here's what really happened: Even weeks after I married this chick I saw through the bull. I would call her on things and that would send her into a narcissistic rage. Even when I was being abused, I still had a strong sense of myself and I refused to supply her and that ****** her off to no end, much to my delight. Narcissists need fuel. When you don't supply it, they get really mad.

It's all about control for these monsters. She had complete control of the finances. Sex was cool and controlled too. It was terrible. There was no real connection. It was mechanical and no real bonding occurred. She admired feminists and their ideals. She also had the most demonic scream imaginable.

Here's why I think she is a text-book NPD:

1) She told me her greatest fear was to die alone or be abandoned. Ironically, she probably will, much to the joy and relief of most of the men in this world.

2) She told me that she wanted to actually be inside of me. She meant this figuratively of course, but this was an interesting comment because NPDs have no concept of "other." You are an extension of them and that is why they must control you.

3) Very controlling "back seat driver." Whenever I asserted myself she raged hard. Didn't care about my safety while I was driving either.

4) Would get extremely mad when I wouldn't greet her when she came home from work, and constantly brought up things that she thought I should constantly praise and thank her for. One time I didn't say hi to her when she got into the car and we got into a huge fight just because of that. She needed constant attention. I stopped doing that: She treated my like ****. As far as I was concerned, she could go **** herself so I only fake praised her.

5)Very bossy, very controlling...did I mention she was controlling :)

6) There were a lot of double-standards when it came to spending. She was the only one allowed to spend a lot of money.

7) Would constantly throw her wedding ring at the wall so as to say I don't want to be with you. Then I started doing the same thing...so that didn't work.

8) One characteristic of the NPD is that they go for low blows. They will dig up your most vulnerable secrets and use it against you in the most immature ways.


I'll wrap this up. In a nutshell she was a crazy ***** who put me through hell. Fortunately, I was only married to her for about a year and a half. When she realized that she couldn't control me, she gave up....and there I was standing in the fallout with a smile. For those who are reading this and you find yourself in a similar circumstance, rise up and rebel. ***** NPD wives or girlfriends are no different than tyrannical dictatorships, and like evil regimes we can and should rise up against them. Go down swinging. Make it difficult for them to manipulate you. Eventually, they'll give up and find someone else to give them narcissistic supply.

good stuff Paul. Im not well read on the npd behaviors but it sounds alot like my bpd girlfriend. very controlling and immature. she loves to find a vulnerable area and stick the knife in. I have kids with her so i'm hanging in there, playing the game but its a sad deal. i wish i could say that the sex was good but even thats pretty bad nowadays. oh well, im keeping my guard up and going with the flow. She's hurt me plenty but i think im in a good spot to not let her bs bother me anymore. we'll see.

My heart goes out to you man. I know how hard it is to let go even if it is toxic. There was a bit of ambivalence on m part toward the end of my divorce, but that's because she had torn my ego up so much. However, deep deep deep down I knew my core self and that's what more men need to get in touch with. No longer should we put abusive women on pedestals. We should just walk away. It's unfortunate that you have kids to worry about. My advice: if they're really young, cut your losses and move on, but that's just me. You really don't want these women in your life. They will ruin you. BPDs are bad news too. I think my ex was also BPD. Cried at everything, hyper-sensitive. Tantrums. You don't deserve it. No man does. After my divorce I dated a girl for a while and we had a really healthy relationship. We're not together now because there was some crap I needed to work out in myself, but it was like night and day. The step to becoming healthier is to admit you made a mistake, make an exit plan, not to look back and learn from it. By the way, she'll try to use tactics to keep you in the relationship. There are a ton of videos on youtube about BPDs and NPDs. Check them out. Good luck. I hope you find happiness.

Paul, I am gad that you are in a better place now. Sorry to hear about your suicidal ideation. I hope all of that is in the past now.

Thanks. I'm glad too.

Beaten: This troll Drew (drews alot) scum is making all this up. Maybe faking your responses too. Dope on dope. Pathetic

Paul (the original one)

You know, I really thought the writing styles were different. That's a shame. Especially the fake Paul making reference to the suicidal ideation. My 16 year old son has a very good friend who's dad committed suicide a couple of days ago. Suicide is a very real thing for middle aged men. Life is hard on us guys. There are BPD wives, the fact that we are getting older and the job market wants younger, and other factors.
The fake Paul is an a$$.

Yes I just realized some of the stories are changing. That is a shame. Now we have hijackers and fakers on this site. We must be interesting guys.

Naw....just bait for the psycho monsters man. Who here has a history of crying victim and calling abuser? It is in print. HA!

Precisely!! Raoul...you da man!

Beaten: Yup, all big pile of manure. It's sad that so many come here for healing and serious advice, and many are actually helped and some horse's a$$ thinks that should be played around with.

Raoul has it all figured out below I guess. Birdboy seems to think he does anyway...

Paul (the original)

Wow. Really?! Let me just say that suicide is a serious issue and not one that I take lightly. I am not a troll. I came here with pure intentions. Believe whatever you want. If you still think, I'm a troll, that's your problem.

Yeah, right go Drewls a lot. Dope on dope. You're pathetic. There are real people here dealing with those types of things, and you are a pathetic joke. Move on. Leave the healing alone.

Paul (the original).

Thank you for your email.

My marriage lasted three months.

Your post is a very similar story to mine.

Thank you for sharing it, it just adds a little more detail to my thoughts why this happened.

I am thankful every day not to be with her now. It takes a long time to get over the shock, and I would almost say brain washing.

Thanks again,

Simon

Rope a dope??? Mohammed alley is watching lol. You all know fakes better then anyone use it to your advantage. If you feed them they are like house fly's or my all time favorite roaches lol.......end of line

PEACE!!