Hi all,

Most of you have read my posts by now. I've been separated for 14 months and the NPD ex has filed for divorce. I was denied access to my personal property for over 10 months and had to live like a homeless man. Then I finally shamed her into giving my things back by getting her female pastor involved.

However, even though I was forced to give her a list of my things, without access to the home, (which is impossible), even some of those things were withheld. This really made me angry at the time. I mean I gave her the list, rented a big truck, hired labor, had to play her silly game, and even then she stiffed me. She simply kept all of the things of value that I owned before I ever knew her. And she used the dumbest most transparent excuses. Oh I use that everyday and I'd have to go buy a new one, (ummmm what do you think I have to do?)Or, that has sentimental value to me. (except you have no feelings you stone!) So even though I got about 70% of my stuff she made sure that she had her power play, her little victory. We all know the famous sense of entitlement these narcs have.

This bothered me more than I knew. And without me really being connected to it, this was holding me back. One of the items she kept was a nice laser printer which I needed and could no longer go without. So I had to get to the point where I just said, okay to hell with it, I'm going to go buy a new one. Seems a simple thing right? No big deal. So I bought a nice color laser on sale and then the most amazing thing happened.

All of a sudden I was at peace, I was feeling more unburdened and free. I suppose the printer had become a symbolic icon for the resentment that I was holding onto subconsciously. It was a representation of all of the property that was taken from me unjustly. Once I let it go of that injustice a lot of toxic junk fell away with it. So not only did I get a killer deal on a great printer, ($150 off), which was 10 times better than the old one, I was now feeling release and healing.

I was reminded of "Job" in the Bible, where God restored to him 10 fold what he had lost. I think this is what God wants us to do, move on and not look back. Our future is 100 times brighter than our past. It took letting go of an 8 year old printer for me to realize that. Talk about stubborn huh? lol BTW, printer rocks,,,

BTDT, That rocks!!! I have to admit I harbor deep resentments still. My ex sent her drug addicted minions(meth)to rob and damage my home of pretty much anything of value ($30,000.00 in losses, no theft insurance) while I met her in town for breakfast to discuss "us". She could have taken all that I own EXCEPT for my fathers watch and gun. I just can't seem to get over that "hump"...I'm working on it still! WOW I just realized that was a year and a half ago and I still struggle with TOWERING anger about that!

Thanks BB,

I can relate, bigtime! You must have felt really violated. It's a kind of rape, an invasion of your personal space and disregard for your whole history. It's too easy to simply say, "let it go". Doesn't work that way. We all have to travel our own road. If my experience has any value at all, then I'd say the effort to let go will most likely pay BIG dividends for you. But you have to arrive at that place in your time and space.

I now realize that since these narcs live in such constant chaos, they can really only aspire to our leftovers, while we move forward in life and acquire new relationships and new property that rewards us for hard work. At the end of the day I know my ex will never know contentment. So living a full life, investing in myself and my children, is really the best, in-your-face, you can do. Cheers,,,

Hi BTDT,

You've found out that your past can be replaced with something new, something good. Congratulations for that, you've made a big step forward in the recovery.

"except that you dont feel anything, you stone!" HAHAHAHAHAH! thats a good one, i have to remember that one. best wishes bro.

BTDT, congratulations! Don't be surprised if the emotions of sadness and anger come around after this, also. It seems to me that our moods spiral around after dealing with these women. You feel free one day, the next day you feel loss, then you feel happy, and it all goes around and around until you get them out of your system.

It is the pendulum of emotional trauma.......much like what the PDI goes through daily. We go crazy by proximity.....