I remember clearly when she would never stand up for me and let her friends belittle/ridiclue me, and she threatened to leave me because they didn't like me. Then she shifted and called me crying saying she really did love me,and she didn't care what they thought. However just a week later she texted me saying she needed me in her life whether it was her best friend or boyfriend, which led to me getting cut off and her gettting with the new guy. My question is, does she go off of/base her views and opinions on what OTHERS think/believe? She doesn't have a core? She would always change her personality entirely based on who she's around, and her image as well. (Now it makes some sense why I fell for her-the false projection.) She's with the new guy one year now and happy as ever with him, and has never looked back. Why did she love-bomb/beg me to be with her for a year, then after 6 months of me being with her she closes the trap door on me and starts hanging out with the ex she used to hurt herself over as well as the new guy? Is she mentally sane? She's very easily manipulated as well. The new guy does not seem to be experiencing the same thing.

Hey, You seem to have provided very clear and rational answers within your questions.

I agree BB if he can digest what is in his content the answers are all there....

Hey,

Getting past the denial that there are truly wicked people out there is the single biggest hurdle us victims face... this is why James put the video up top that says "Stop second guessing yourself"

You look at yourself and judge others based on that.. So if you are giving and kind.. you typically think others are.. BUT the npd has lost there humanity.. and can't be judged by looking at ourselves as a reference..

Follow you gut.. it is a finely tuned guiding light..

Hey.. Keep up the recovery.. and btw.. did you read "The wizard of oz and other narcissists" yet?

Extension: I remember her texting me after the fact that she told me she wanted to break up and she didn't love me anymore saying, "Everything I said this morning wasn't true. Hey I really do love you more than anything and I want to see you today. What my friends think doesn't matter, you're my soul mate and I'm lying to myself saying I only love you as a brother. I don't want to be an auto tech, I want to be your wife!" When I saw her that day she was sobbing saying she was horrible and kept writing, "I love Hey" on newspapers and such around the house and kept hugging me/wouldn't let go until I left that night. Only about a week later, she says she needs me in her life no matter what if I am her best friend or boyfriend and starts to ignore me completely and didn't care when I was crying and going insane trying to understand her thinking. (Men can cry too, contrary to popular belief). She started skyping with the new guy more that night (the one she was cheating with) and didn't check on me to see if I was ok. All she did was text me saying, "Hey, Hey." When I asked her to apologize she said, "I'm not fighting with you, goodnight Hey." Then closed the trap door on me completely, leaving evil seeds of doubt in my mind that she actually did love me after I saved everything she said and gave me etc from our relationship and when I was her therapist for 2 years when she was saying without me she would hurt herself or would have already been gone by now. My brother texted her that night asking what happened and she answered, "I really did love Hey more than anything, but my friends were just constantly talking crap about him and I sort of got manipulated into thier thinkings. I don't hate him, but I don't love him the way I used to." Only days later, I was sitting waiting to get picked up after school and she walked out of the cafeteria with the new guy, holding hands and happy as ever and I frequently saw them, "dry humping", each other around school. She used to always wait across the halls and peek on me to see if I was wallowing in sorrow and self pity without her too. Since then she has completely altered her image and now she looks and acts like the new guy completely, it's quite a scary resemblance. She is literally his twin now, and she's posted a billion pictures of them together and a ton of statuses saying how mush she loves her boyfriend and how amazing he is. It's been one year, and nobody at school knows besides me what kind of a person she really is. My chances of a new relationship are lower there because of the rumors/Bs/lies she has spread about me that deter some people. Not only is she with and having fun with the new guy now, but she's also best friends with the ex she used to cut herself over and I gave her emotional therapy over for 2 years, barely ever focusing on myself. She's also just as close with her main dochbag friend who was encouraging her to break up with me because I was too nice and I believed in god and like history and love my country. My ex never wanted to cut this person off because I am almost positive she had sex with her in the past since they made all these youtube videos about how they were wives and they loved each other etc. (I have nothing against gay people, I'm totally fine with it but that was a red flag I admit I ignored going into it, so that was my fault. ) they frequently message each other calling each other, "love" and other relationship-only terms of endearment

during our relationship. I did a lot of research on NPD based off a professional, Sam Vaknin. A ton of the traits aligned to her, and I learned a lot from it. Such as "hates birthdays/holidays", "never sorry", "3 stages of a narc relationship", "role of narc friends" etc. none of my family believes me that she's actually a narc and they say she's just a selfish and stupid teenage girl. I just don't understand why she told me countless tales of exes and wrote me al these sad/depressing sorties about her ex and begged me to be with her for a year and never left me alone 24/7, then after 6 months she did what she did. I am angry as a one legged man in an a$$ kicking contest about the whole thing, and I want to call her or talk to her face to face and express my emotions but I don't want to break NC.

It is O.K. to be angry. It's also O.K. to let it go... you gotta fall to fly.

If you love a thing and it is not good for you let it go... if it comes back that means no one else wanted it... let it go again.

You go ahead and flaunt
I gotta move on
You do what you want
I gotta be strong

Lastly, only days after her and I met she taped pictures of me to her wall and kept a picture of me in a frame by her bedside, and saved all the nice things I said/texted to her in a book with "I love my best friend Hey<3" written on the cover. She kept a binder w ith my messages I sent to her as well in her closet and her bedside dresser was dedicated to me. It had pictures of me and the gifts I made for her on it. I didn't know the saying "You're the only one I feel truly knows me" was a red flag.

Do you think she saw me as more of an object than a person? I watched the breakup with crazy pshyco gf video on here and it reminds me of her.

Hey, we all were objectified. We do appear as things not people we are acquired not loved. If they could get title to us like a vehicle they could paste it up on the cork board as proof. But consider this we are PEOPLE with feelings not a inanimate objects as they wish we were......end of line

PEACE!!!!

PS they are to be pitied and we are more aware. One day their life long abuse will shower down on them. So be a better person it takes effort work it, be it, seek it.

They look at us like an appendage.. like their arm... and just like their arm.. we are to bend at their will..
If we no longer do as she wants.. we get discarded as broken..
Narcs don't see others as separate people but more of an extension of themselves.. that's why they can't tolerate people that don't reflect well on them

Do you guys think that based off my story(ies) that she is actually a clinical narc? I also don't understand why she told me her worst fear is being alone forever. Since I was always there for her and told her I would always stay with her and do what was right, then she goes off with the new guy as if nothing happened.

Since I'm on here so infrequently.. i don't remember your original story..
Read "the wizard of oz and other narcissists"..
If it resonates with you on a deep level.. then she probably is.. also lookup DSM IV and answer the diagnosis questions.. mine was definitely diagnosable..

"Since I'm on here so infrequently". Uh...depending on who you are today. Whadda smuck!

Hijacking hey's post.. pitiful..

Birdyboy.. Contaminating the forum still.. maybe it is time to get a hobby..

If you want to dance.. take it to the ann please thread ;)
I will not respond to you on this thread again.. so.. knowing you.. you'll probably get your cheap shots in on this thread ;)

What we have here is a failure to communicate.....

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3XAHe3pD5U4&desktop_uri=/watch?v%3D3XAHe3pD5U4

Keep the I like BB under your hat don't want him HITTING on me lmao..........end of line

PEACE!!!!!!

PS I hope he hasn't switched side's.... lmfao

Do you guys think if I described my entire story to a doctor about her they would diagnose her as a narc?

Why did she keep pictures of me all over her room and on her dresser for 2 years? Didn't she actually love me? Or not? That is just something I don't understand. She went from adoring me to kicking me out like garbage, as well as the things I gave her and she made of me (pictures etc.)

Hey,
Really I am not trying to be cruel or glib. If you were to discuss this with a Shrink he would probably say she is a young girl formulating and experimenting with who and what she is going to become.

If I were you I'd be much more concerned with what the Doctor would say about what he thinks of you.

Obsession is a double edged sword that is destructive in either way it swings. It will whittle down and eventually take out the good in foe and self equally.

I agree with Bird here Hey. You should really cut her loose. You are tearing yourself up about her and will damage your thinking about women. You are young, there are plenty of fish without baggage. Consider this a learning experience.

In many ways, she is like all other women. Read up on this. Google things like: Rationalization Hamster, Emotional Tampon, $hit test. You'll find some info there enlightening. Educate yourself so you know what to avoid and what to go after, but always with caution.

Do you think she was just horny for me and once she got what she wanted from me she bolted?

Depends on what she got... or didn't get.