I just learned what a narcissist is and realized that's what im dealing with. I, not sure I want to leave her as I love her but I don't want her controlling me either.Im a good honest dude is there anyway to turn this around? She was a good chick for a long time now she lies ignores but constantly professes her her love for me.its really frickin driving me crazy what she says and does is 2 different things.

I know how you feel. I broke up with my girlfriend 6 weeks ago because she showed narcissistic behaviour like this. Wanted to control everything and everyone. Never listened or cared when I told her how I felt and would shout and hit me or just blank me completely when I told her she was wrong.
In between being a total pain in the **** and making me angry and depress she was so loving and affectionate. Telling me she loved me literally 100 times a day always hugging and kissing me and telling me I was her best friend. Then as soon as she did or said something wrong and I said a word she would turn nasty and sometimes hit me. Whatever bad that happened was never her fault always mine.
A lot of what I've read people are cynical and say that they never change. I stayed with her for 3 years hoping everything would be ok because I loved her (I still do ) but if anything she got worse. Then when I had enough and left I was the bad guy.

Try speaking to your girlfriend about her behaviour. If she listens and takes responsibility and doesn't shift all the blame on you then your winning if not only time will tell. Good luck

Listen man, I've been with my wife for 21 years. Every time I think things are turning around, she does something to make me think she doesn't care. When I say the hell with it, she lures me back in.

Do you want this?

You are fooling yourself if you ever think you are winning.

Rob,

I think all of us here have asked ourselves this question. What can I do?

First,your girlfriend can only be competently diagnosed by a trained professional familiar with NPD. If in fact she is suffering from NPD then I'll give you the answer my counselor, who had seen and counseled my narc ex-wife, gave to me. In answer to, "I love her, Is there anything I can do to help her"? He responded "No, nothing", "you didn't break her and you can't fix her." "Not even a trained professional has much chance of reaching her."

So in essence, if you are convinced that she is NPD then you need to stop investing your time, emotions and money in something that will never be healthy for you. I know this is tough. It took me 4 years to see it then another 2 years to fully deal with it. But you MUST leave and never speak to her again, it's the only way. Every time you do contact her, drama and chaos will follow and your life will be on hold until she is done screwing with your heart. I am so very sorry. But I speak from experience. Hang in there and invest in people that are capable of a reciprocal relationship.

I know I've said I wasn't posting for awhile but. This is a no brainer not trying to insult anyone. These freaks are two people hello one that got their hooks in you and the one that so disturbs you, you start to think its you. ITS NOT YOU, its them all I can say is GTFO as fast as you can...............end of line

Hi Rob and glad you are searching for answers. This is a great place to do that. Many of us thought we could turn it around too but were unable. We found out some sooner and some later what these women are made of. I hope you find the answers you are looking for on this site. We welcome you.