This morning my wife and I were talking. She brought up a friend she made a couple of years back. In fact, my wife actually said this woman was her mentor in during this time.
Well, this morning she was criticizing her for various unimportant things.

Do they do this to friends, lovers, and everyone?

One thing I have noticed is that she still has her parents on a pedestal, even though they are very critical of her. In fact, they still try to control a great deal of her life.

I don't think so, maybe they keep the people that don't know their being control and used for supply. SO I say Devalue yes Discard no

My idea is that as long as they can use someone, they will keep them around.

Perhaps she has no use for that friend anymore, and is discarding her in this way.


Her parents probably caused her to be who she is today...

Jack,

I agree, everything they do is motivated by, "what serves me best?". I'll add to what you've said.

The love bombing phase remains one of the narcs most powerful tools. All of us that have experienced it cannot EVER forget it completely. That's one of the big reasons that leaving is very hard to do.

An npd/bpd woman will only keep those people in her life that can be of some benefit to them. As a rule, when they see no further use for you, they will dump you by the roadside like yesterdays newspaper. The exception to this, at least for the females is family, especially children. These are the narcs long term best source of NS. You as primary source of NS will be front and center, but she will keep her kids close just in case you become unreliable. In my case she kept her adult 30ish son in our home and refused to charge him any rent. They will encourage a deep dependency in their children making it very hard for them to live independent of mommy. And since they are physical extensions of mommies perfection, they get a pass on all wrongdoing, not so with you.

So, they will love bomb specific targets and discard those of no further use to them. This is consistent across all narcs.

****, that's what my parents tried to do to me! They tried to make me dependent and control me. In fact, when I was trying to become independent my dad specifically, told me that he was going to write me out of their will. They had a plan for my life and any input that I had was not permitted. It was hell.

“To sit back hoping that someday, some way, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last -- but eat you he will.”.

i disagree that they take care of their children if they are female narcs. my narc exgirlfriend trashed her baby a long time ago and the baby daddy is long gone. she is a daddy's girl. she uses him all the time for expenses and to help her with her apartment. she uses the apartment as a brothel pretty much inviting guys over asking them for cigarettes. she has sex with them then tosses them out early in the morning. she uses a lot of the people in her apartment for narcissistic supply. she cooks for them sometimes, hangs out with them, uses their internet, etc. she has called the cops on guys several times the past month. she called the cops on me once. she was keeping a lot of these guys a secret but once i found out that was the reason why she was so flaky she trashed me again. she picks guys who she can abuse to sleep with. when she called the cops on me she decided she wanted to beat me up and said i couldnt fight back. the second i did she called the cops on me lol. she also has a lot of online long distance relationships when she needs them. her facebook has no real friends. she sometimes uses other relatives but lately she has been a major daddy's girl. i feel bad for her dad. he spends a lot of money rebuying things for her. she recently had a lot of stuff stolen because she invites everyone in her apartment over for attention.