Been having a tough time as I'm going through a divorce. I miss her and ALL of the fantastic times we've had, especially our datenights and our insatiable lust and passion for each other (like rabbits I tell you!). Our chemistry was and still is amazing. I admit that we got carried away and moved all too fast, though. Engaged after five months. Eloped two months after that. Sadly, or not, true colors came out, reality kicked in, and the daily demands became far greater than they were prior to being married. There was a big change in our relationship and one day I finally woke up... I realized that I had compromised myself all too much, catering to her. I was too nice and a ****ed pushover. I rationalized her $h*t behaviors when she disrespected ME AND MY FAMILY. I also realized that I wasn't ready to be married to a person like her. She got what she wanted. She had expectations of me, so when I didn't perform up to her liking, she very well made it known to me. My best friend/s, two brothers, sister, parents, and uncle that met my fiancee/wife...they all said the same thing, "You've changed man! Isn't it crystal clear to you?" It wasn't yet. It's as if I was cast under her spell. I took a stand and filed for dissolution.

Going back and forth for two months with her now we wanted to make it work, but we were arguing incessantly. She even got into an argument with our 35-years experienced marriage counselor.. about accepting me for being a carnivore, accepting our different eating habits, because she felt I was a "changed" person for not honoring some of the rules of 1. No meat in the house/ 2. No eating meat in front of me/ 3. You can have meat once every two months, but not in front of me/ 4. We will raise our kids pescatarian, but if they want meat you'll have to take them somewhere outside of the house. I called her a Nazi-pescatarian.

Incredibly controlling huh? I enabled her. My fault also!

Now, I've realized my mistakes and have to deal with the consequences. We were just not right for each other, even though we seemed perfect for each other. I tell myself "This is for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, MAN! THE REST... OF... YOUR... LIFE... UNTIL YOU DIE. Do you want that for yourself?" I've taken a stand and vowed to myself to take back control of my life and not to ever lose myself nor compromise myself in the process for any future relationship. Let's just hope I don't withdraw these papers.

just venting.

Alf

Alf,

She's showing textbook NPD behaviour : luring you in with fantastic s*x, great dates and all.

Once the fish is hooked, time for reality to kick in, and do things her way, and her way only.

Great to hear you're moving on. You're doing the right thing.

I swore up and down I wasn't coming on here cause this board has to many dysfunctional types trolling for supply but.

We all have a story to tell no doubt and we all have viewpoints and ideas. Some seem pretty simple to my way of thinking but that was not the case early on fact! I'm not here to tell you what you should do the reason why is you've already been under some freaks control and its the last thing any of us need. So vent get it out turn it around think about a smile on your face not the frown you are wearing. Seek you're truth, if you weren't the best person you could have been before fix it work on being the best you can to everyone. Then all you can do is hope being a better person is enough.........end of line

Hi, Alf

Reading your post, in some ways is like you wrote it about my ex. One day telling me she loves me 100 times a day, telling me please don't ever leave her, brilliant sex, extremely attracted to each other. The list goes on. I'm really pleased for you that you have the strength to move on. I have not been so lucky and am still finding it difficult to move on and adjust. You've had alot of similar experiences to me having read your post. If you have time read mine and drop me a line.

Good luck

Lee

My post is called female narcissistic abuse. If you can have a read.

Thanks

Lee

Thanks Jack, Mark, and Lee!

We need all the support we can get. I am still coping each day and trying to find the inner strength to get through this phase in life. I think I've been reading too much about my wife's condition and now I'm even asking myself "Dam, how did I deal with that for so long?" But I'm also asking myself "Maybe things will turn around and she'll be different." I have to talk myself out of the latter because I know in my heart that she has NPD and FOGs my mind using Emotional Blackmail. I'm just a big hearted compassionate man that gave her everything she could have wished for and more, yet I remember the times when she made me feel so small, so unappreciated, so loved and expressed a thousand times a day via voice/text, and then the next wanting to control every situation.

It's easy to fall into their world and give in all the time. You're stuck in a tornado of emotions. Good luck to all and be strong!

Alf