with my narcissistic exgirlfriend she has many friends that she has been with for over 8 months since she moved into her apartment. she uses one woman for her laptop since she doesnt have a computer or internet service. but she also hangs out with her consistently but the woman did mention that there has been problems with my ex in the past but i dont think its much since they been friends for almost a year now. she also cooks sometimes and hangs out with several people at her apartment complex. she literally meets new people all the time. and she brings back people she hasnt met in years every now and then usually these are exboyfriends that she has sex with and then throws out again. she lasted a few weeks with me recently and we got in several fights or should i say she got in several fights with me by treating me like crap and raging if i criticized her etc. so much so that she called the cops on me for not letting her beat me up and resisting. she then started inviting me over late at night then kicking me out in the morning basically using me for sex and cuddling then telling me to GET OUT at 5 in the morning. she started ignoring me for weeks at a time. i eventually found out it was because she was doing this with other guys as well. she almost laughed at me when i asked why she cant just be friends with me and said i dont want to be friends with you. and she said i know what i did for why we cant talk anymore this was days before i found out she was banging other guys as usual. she even invited over the guy she cheated on me with years ago when we started hanging out again but he lives far away but since hes a loser he will probably travel to see her eventually.

anyway, she has shown she can be friends with people for a long period of time. she has turned a lot of people at her apartment against me they think im stalking her and pretty much abusing her by harassing her when in reality she cheated on me devalued me and trashed me. i know she called the cops on several other guys the past few weeks we werent together as well. it seems like she invites over guys she holds no value to and treats them like **** then has other friends she acts respectful around to get other things from.

she feeds off people so often and invites so many people over she gets all her stuff stolen literally weeks after her dad buys her it. recently she got her bike, tv, and phone stolen right after her birthday when she got most of that stuff.

obviously a lot of times i dont take it personally but the devaluation of me while being friends with other people for long periods of time make people think i did something wrong not her.

a few days ago i called her phone nonstop i had been doing it the past weeks but not so often and she didnt care but i eventually did it nonstop like 200 times a day preventing her from using her phone. she had the balls to come over to my house and talk to my parents. she gave me no closure this time she trashed me. she just said we shouldnt talk anymore. at least i nthe past she said she didnt want to be with me because of something about me. it was a very obvious conscious decision to dump me and even early on when she was idolizing me again it was clear she had plans to get rid of me while lying to me about doing all sorts of stuff with me.

anyway, point of the thread is how do i make her respect me or is it just because i dont have anything to offer her? she likes cooking for people and making people things and a lot of times she says she is gonna make me something only to trash me right before she does it and then makes it for other people like at her apartment complex

Chris, I had a lightbulb moment this morning. These people are in intense emotional pain. They have to constantly distract themselves from this pain. If that means sleeping with 100 guys a day and cooking endless meals for neighbors/friends/strangers or whoever, they will do it. The thing is, their pain is just beneath the surface. It will come out in the form of devaluing you. Remember, it's not how they feel about you when they trash you, it is how they feel about themselves.

Her life sounds like constant chaos and drama. All of this keeps her from getting deeper into her life and finding the source of her pain.

It sounds like you should just avoid her.

Chris,

This devaluation is a manifestation of projecting, her act.

NLB is right when he says about the emotional pain. Making you feel bad, makes them feel better. If they can devalue you and see your pain it's better than feeling their own.

Ever notice how it's more about causing you distress than solving an issue? She knows the effect her actions have, any adult does, that's why they do it.

And yes buddy....if you've worked her out, or your of no value to her.... Then it's hit the kerb.