It's a question I keep asking myself. When I met my ex she seemed a totally different person. I loved her so much and showed it in everyway possible. She was so caring, protective and if I was upset she would be upset and vice versa.

Then it changed. Saying and doing things that hurt, upset me or made me angry and if I said a word get mad at me. If I was so hurt and wanted to leave her she'd cry and declare her undying love for me. She became more controlling she decided she wanted to move house with an extra bedroom. we had too move house. She said the extra bedroom was because she wanted a baby. Within a month she moved her sister and her sisters new boyfriend of 2 weeks in. Then she started putting them before me and our relationship resulting in me having enough.( the whole story is in my first post titled female narcissistic abuse)

Did she move them in to really help them? or to make herself feel good from them worshipping, adoring and saying how great sheis? was it for the extra narcissistic supply because I don't understand why you would want 2 dirty, stinking, useless bums in your house taking advantage?

I ask myself, did I love her too much, give her everything and treat her to good to the point she became either a narcissist or more narcissistic? Thinking she's untouchable and can go through life doing whatever she wants. Or was she already like this and I made it worse? Or would it have been part of her true self that came out over time? Has something happened in life to make her this way? An ex partner treating her bad? Her mother is very controlling of her stepdad, even down to what he wears but he's too lazy to give **** and let's her do whatever she wants so is it learned behaviour?

Also are they all vindictive? A few weeks a go she hated me and was doing and saying all she could to hurt me. Last week she was telling me how much she loved me and not to be sad and everything will be ok then a few days later saying she has a boyfriend and he's gonna break my legs. Do I believe the new boyfriend part or is it another ploy to hurt me? It's so strange how someone can flip from love and hate so fast.

I also read they have very low self as teem so is that why she keeps bringing me down? During the relationship she would always check my phone and if another girl even looked in my direction she'd go mad.

its normal for them to worship you and be too good to be true at the start. do you even watch the 100000 narcissism videos on youtube? its how it always starts. they boost you up to be narcissistic supply it is not love. they buy you things to take care of you for their own selfish desires.

they then begin the sweet/mean cycles to abuse you just like you said. it is textbook behavior they all do.

yes they do replace you with other people as time goes on. they again lack empathy and the ability to love. they will do nice things for other people to garner attention from others after they grow bored of you. you are nothing more than a refrigerator to her. she does not love you. narcissists have the same mental problems as psychopaths who kill people except they dont tend to kill people.

in general you never buy a woman things make her pay her own way i dont know why youre letting her make you buy more and more expensive housing and worshiping her to begin with. being a care taker father figure to a grown woman...

it isnt really a learned behavior i think its more genetic although if she has a long history of exboyfriends odds are there is something seriously wrong with her where she is hooking up with men for the wrong reasons then disposing of them.

narcissists always cheat and tend to have several boyfriends long distance and close by. they use each boyfriend for different reasons. typically if youre one of the boyfriends having sex with her then she is abusing you the most and she has the least respect for. the others she is mainly in a state of delusion making them out to be whatever she wants them to be and although shes talking to them shes really talking to herself when she talks to them. if she ever met them again shed probably flip out on them within weeks.

when it comes to low self esteem you should never try to feel sorry for a narcissist. they will take that and run with it to abuse you. they can bail on you for years at a time and not care kind of like throwing a old toy under the bed only to come back years later to see if the dog chewed it up before throwing it out again. thats one of the only benefits to a narcissist. they ruin all relationships. a lot of times they bail on people before they learn just how toxic they are. people who are with them for long periods of time eventually learn they will always cheat always ruin everything and it will never work and they eventually work up the nerve to block them and never talk to them again.

narcissistic women also have a tendency to be daddy's girls or are loyal to their family members if they have a good relationship with them. if you want her to treat you good you should friendzone her and keep your distance most of the time. she will respect you more. but then youll have to watch her have sex with other men and still ignore you until she wants to feed off you but at least she wont treat you badly anymore if you dont let her get close to you.

Thanks for the insight, Chris. Tom be honest she never needed me for financial reason or too look after her. We both have decent jobs so she earns enough money although as a couple she was in charge of the finances.

She has had one serious boyfriend before me and she was with him for 6years on and off. I know this to be true as I sort of know the guy so not many boyfriends before.

She always came across as always needing me. Where ever she went I had to go with her I mean literally everywhere she had to have me with her. When she went to bed I had to go with her she always wanted me there. If I went out she had to come too. Sometimes she'd say things to me like 'I'm so happy you came into my life' and 'please don't leave me'. When she was at work she would phone and text me sometimes too much where I had nothing to say because I spoke to her the previous hour.

She always seemed to have to have me with her. In between the bad behaviour I previously mentioned, she could be on one end emotionally attentive, caring and very loving to the point of posseviveness. For example she hated the girl across the street because she said hello and chatted to me when she saw me. To her the other girl wanted me but no matter how much I told her how much I wasn't interested in anyone else she'd still sulk or be angry.

I'm trying to be strong but am finding it really hard. I know she was a ***** to me but there were lots of things she did and things about her that made me love her and I feel I still do. I've tried telling her how I feel and how much I love her but she will still do the love me then hate me bull ****! I've tried pretending I don't care and saying 'ok wherever good luck in your life!' She comes to me saying we will work at it, we spend time together, kiss, hug and have sex and everything then a few days later plays games. I don't know if on purpose but play games like ask to see me then make an excuse last minute. Whatever I do I lose, I be loving, attentive and tell her exactly how I feel, I've tried acting like I don't give a **** and giving her **** back when she gives it me (smashing the car up for example),I've tried saying ok whatever and ignoring her.

Either way I'm having a tough time getting over it all. I love her very much and like I've said she is a ***** but can't stop thinking about the good times. I can't stop being upset listening to music, I think about her all the time, if a song is on and I think what year it came to I think oh she would have been 8 back then.
I hear songs and remember where we were when we heard it together or a film comes on tv and I remember watching it together. She seems to have no sentimental feelings like I do that make you reflect and feel sad.
Another example, I go to places that we went together and remember good times and get upset. All my aftershave (cologne) she bought me I wear it and it brings back memories. Just all sentimental feelings that she mustn't feel because if she did she would be just like me.
She's always in my thoughts. I dream about her very night. One day I'll have a '**** you' attitude and think about all the bad stuff she done and said then when I'm alone I think about her and am really depressed. I don't believe she has a boyfriend because if she did why would she love me then hate me? She'd just toss me aside and get on with her new man wouldn't she? Anyway I'm trying to be strong, deep down I know there can be no going back but it doesn't stop me being down. She gives me **** I've give her **** back, asked why she's being so mean, ignored her. Nothing seems to work. Bottom line of it, some days I feel rock bottom. I wish I had the strength not to care anymore.

I had a feeling the text about the boyfriend breaking my legs was not her. I had a feeling because the way it was worded didn't sound like her. I had a feeling it was her sister s h I t stirring again so later on I asked was it definitely her who sent me that threatening message. I got no reply. What do I. Do? Leave it as hard as it is or demand answers? It's going to be hard to totally avoid her because she's renting a house 2 minutes up the road from my parents. Of all the houses in the world she has to be as close to me as possible. If she hates me so much why does she insist in being right on my face?

i remember the please dont leave me line. my ex had a smirk on her face when she said it then days later she trashed me to have sex with another guy. my ex is a lot more irresponsible and relies on her dad and government funding and yeah money never seems to be their primary goal its more about the emotional abuse. i havent hung out with my ex in exactly a month now. its been going on since early 2011 on and off. im aware of some really old ugly men she hooked up with in between some other trashy guys her age. ill give her credit for friendzoning a lot of guys then secretly having sex with weak men who probably would never get a std since most normal girls wouldnt have sex with them. my ex mainly got rid of me because she was brushing me off and i eventually went over there and wouldnt leave until i saw another guy in there with her. here are some of the voicemails she would send me once she was cheating on me.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1439275372957965&set=vb.100006265484049&type=3&theater

she did a lot of stuff with me like break into pools, play house, go shopping with me etc. i ended up breaking into pools by myself etc. its best to stop cherishing such memories. although im a antisocial loser ive been with like 20 women and once youve been backstabbed and dumped by a lot of women you start to feel like a creeper loser cherishing those memories. my biggest regret was trying to date online and stalking exgirlfriends when right outside in my neighborhood theres hot young girls jogging around the block. its best to move on rather than wasting years of your life.

I know what your saying. She's sounds like a proper weirdo. My ex would be just emotionally abusive and sometimes physically knowing I wouldn't hit her back.

On the other end though she could seem quite vulnerable where I wanted to make her feel loved. Pleading with me to come home when I left and begging me not to go.

Now she's acting like she hates me because I threw her out and did what I did to her car. She forgets all the emotional and physical pain she's caused me and broke a lot of my possessions as well as not giving me a lot of my things back. She's just self self self all she cares about is me throwing her out and she can't forgive me when I never would of thrown her out and this wouldn't be happening right now if it wasn't for HER behaviour.

If I treated someone like that and they threw me out I'd be forever trying to make them know how sorry I am for treating them so bad and making them realise I'm sorry and I love them. She doesn't seem to realise this is consequences to her actions and I finally just had enough.

I tried to check out your video but I'm not on Facebook. What's it about?