As a regular user here for about a year now ive learned so much knowledge, a life learning experience i endured with my ex, a learning experience i would have rather learned than have to experience. But thats life gentlemen. I ended up here, gained so much knowledge that at first was hard to take, now im here with others sharing similar life experiences and helping others heal. Isnt it funny how things work?

But truth be told, with as much knowledge i acquired and as much good advice i give. Those memories still linger. I know im on the right track with no contact and i do feel a hundred times better and i have no intention to try and speak with her. But she scarred my brain. Honestly, i have nightmares of it every night. Nightmares of feeling that deep dark sadness, the nights alone, the disbelief, the tears, the people around me that had my back, and worst of all...her.

To the new guys, i know what it feels like. Trust me i do. Being alone may seem like a scary place to be, but its better than being tortured mentally by the same person you chose to be your partner. Im glad i can help share my learning experience to help others. But im also like you guys, just now in a better state of awareness and healing, we all gotta keep staying strong.

to be honest i have a stalker obsessive personality. im codependent. i met my narc after being backstabbed and trashed by a previous girl i was with and ending up in a mental hospital for evaluation cause i started acting erratic.do i think she was also a narcissist? maybe. shes now jobless and has her care taker baby daddy. her whole life consisted of dropping our of high school and mooching off friends and family now she spends most her time painting her face, being obese, and calling me a loser if i send her a message lol. i would have to be a loser to talk to her i think so maybe shes right.

so like i said i was backstabbed pretty bad back then by another girl whos job is now a stay it home mommy "pooper scooper" haha so cute and yet so autistic if a man wrote that for their job. grown women acting like children always seem to goafter big thug daddy figures. my narc im stalking is hooked up with a guy who is delusional himself and it makes me want to vomit that right now it seems like their personalities line up and work well together feeding off eachother. but it could go bad they both losers. we will. at this point even though its only been 16 days with him and they did some traveling during this time to keep it interesting. she is already starting to spread her crappy delusional relationship around i think depending on how that goes will determine how long it lasts if he can blend in or becomes a conflict.

but back on subject. i think id be obsessed with my ex even if she wasnt a narc but maybe im wrong about that. theres women who werent narcissist that i didnt obsess over maybe because they didnt worship me and maybe because deep down i know they are done and wont come back while i think my narc will? right before she broke up with me she did a lot of pushing away then telling me to come back. she probably waited til she thought she hooked me then went on the silent treatment before running off with other guys to live yet another delusional relationship chapter in her life that she can later retell to people when she gets with the next guy

Ill be honest with you chris. I too was obsessing over my ex. But for reasons i can explain. I just could not believe she could dump me, and just get another guy in immediately. While i was out there in pain. That seriously hurt. When she came back, she wanted to give it another shot, but the other guy wasnt gone yet, she kept him around, no matter what i said. This led me to getting into phone records and even passing by late at night to see if his car was there. His car wasnt there at night but those phone records spoke volumes, everytime i wasnt around, they talked and texted for hours. I always wondered, why wasnt that happening when i was around, if he was just her friend now as she made me believe. Until she dumped me, blamed me, and got back with him.

There came a time when i abruptly stopped the obessesing and silent stalking. I merely wanted answers. Well i got them clear then, and the last time i was with her. Same scenerio as above, whole different guy ( by the way the other one was still around too ). The questions i was asking myself, i got all the answers. I got them a long time ago too, so i said to myself, "chris, your gut feeling has been telling you all along, give up the fight now" and i did. I no longer pass by her job ( which is right by mine ) to see if shes with new guy. I no longer try and start conversations with her via text. Nothing. Im done. I threw in the towel and accepted the truth as fact, as hard as it was because i was in denial. "Yes, she is doing what shes doing regardless of how you feel.....she doesnt care, now break this cycle and save yourself more hurt"

I look back now and i cant help but laugh a little bit. What a fool i was, the answers were right there. There was no reason to get all crazy over her like i did. She is what she is, i cant change her, and neither will the next guy. Good luck to him!

Quote from a good friend of mine who helped me throughout the whole thing.

"If you want to stop getting burned, stop putting your hand in the fire and wondering why it hurts!"

Aint that the truth.