I think that these BPD's devalue us and everyone around them before we can see them for who they really are.
They lure us in, use us for what they want, and exit before we can figure out what happened.

We are just pawns for them.
I think that with my wife, her wants were more long term, that was, getting a home and having kids. I provided that for her. Then, once she got it, the loving act was done.

They are like thieves, they put on a mask, take what they want, devalue the person that they took it from to justify their actions, then they leave. Although, they do keep some us around in case they may want something of value later on. They also portray themselves as a victim to keep their act going. So, it wasn't really them who wrong you, you wronged them.

I am painting a cold and heartless picture here. I don't know if they are really that cold and calculating, but it sure feels that way sometimes.

I don't know what mine could of wanted from me. When we met we both had nothing. As time and years went by we both managed to get the things we wanted. A nice place to live and a car, things like that.
I think as she became more successful in her job she became more of a control freak and more selfish now she thinks she's gods gift. She doesn't seem to realise she is not. I don't think I'll ever fully understand. All I know is ihad eneough and had to leave her and now I'm the bad guy. I think she's intent on punishing me and making me suffer when she's the one that's made me suffer mentally for 3 years. She seems happy, has everything she wants and I'm alone and in pain. Doesn't seem fair.

Imho PDIs look/feel to us cold and heartless - that's their cover. Any real emotion is berried deep and locked away for safty. The problem is YOU or I will never see it, we just get shown the mask never what's behind the mask - that's too much of an emotional risk. Even if we can percieve it and i believe many of us here can and do, She'll never show you what's kept secret and safe to anyone ever, except for extreamly brief moments.

Thats why we ARE pawns to meet their unconscious emotional need - be that the security of a home, the unconditional love of children or just a good time. I don't think they know what emotionally drives themselves. But when they have it, or know youre not going to provide it - our job is done. Time to stop pretending, the mask comes off or your chucked to the kerb.