i did some thinking after reading a thread on here the other day. im too lazy to find it now but yeah he was right. you become addicted to narcissistic women mainly because when they take off the mask they show you that they are a empty shell that is unable to care about you and your feelings and who you are. you pretty much are a toaster to them. i remember a few months ago when my ex took off her mask i literally started crying saying this isnt going to work. i realized at that moment after all the idolization that she would trash me for just about anyone or anything and i was a utlity to be used and thrown in the trash. i wondered why in the past i obsessed over a previous exgirlfriend while not obsessing over others.

for example after a nontoxic woman was out of my life (they didnt always break up with me) since there was no super hot sexy lust idolization phase and she never took off a mask i was left unscarred. she kept my humanity, my value, intact. a lot of these girls remained friends with me on facebook and would talk to me if i talked to them, they would apologize and listen. they respected me as a human being.

but since they didnt scar me i was rational and level headed enough to eventually take them off my friends list because they had moved away or eventually got a new boyfriend. i didnt think it would be a good or productive idea to try to talk to them anymore. i was thinknig rationally.

but when i have low self esteem or im abused by a new toxic woman and dumped you know what i do? i stalk them harass them and try to talk to previous toxic women because i think about them too and how they devalued me, took away my humanity, and made me feel like garbage. the reason i wanted them to talk to me was to try to get my humanity and self worth back by being friends with me even though they also moved away and had a kid and were with another guy. i wanted my self esteem back. i felt like they took that from me.

i also bother narcissistic exgirlfriend because i know i can get sex and cuddle time and idolization again from them at a later time. it is a addiction. sam vaknin is right. fun for a limited time nauseating in the long run.

You got it Chris.

A normal ex gives and gets emotional closure. You can both move on, you can converse after because whatever you had was real not fake no matter what it was or how it ended. A normal ex isnt trying to hide the new things in her life from you, or you from her new life, even boyfriends, because she IS who she said she was all along. Openess and honesty doesn't scare them.

Not so a PDI what she had with you was an act, so too is newbie ( but a different act), shes told lies about you to him, and she'll lie to you about him...god forbid you should ever meet, talk and compare notes on her story's.