Yesterday i lost my job, im up to my head in impossible debts. Today i was driving and i see my exs car parked by the bar by my house where she works. Im under so much stress that it would be nice to talk to someone i know well, but i kept driving....part of me wishes i can speak to her. But i know i have to stay away. God....its hard sometimes. I really wish she wasnt the way she was. It was nice having someone i thought who was going to be there till the end. I cant bring myself to do it though. With everything ive learned, im still battling myself.

I know you're hurting man. Feel free to vent here all you want. Heck, I was practically keeping an on line journal here. The important thing is that you get your emotions out and we will validate you.

I am sorry for your job loss. I am sorry for your debt.

When I was with my first narc, we lived together and married for about a year and a half. I was only 19 or so. So, I was probably around 21 when we divorced.
I was madly in love with her. We started dating when I lived at home and was going to college. My parents (narcs) hated her. They hated every interest outside of what they wanted me to have. They threw me out of the house and told me that they were taking me out of the will. I didn't care. It pushed me and the narc together.
Well, she cheated on me numerous times and left me with overwhelming debt, and I lost my job.
It was horrible.
I ended up going back to school and working full time. It was so tough. I had a good friend (an older girl I went to high school with) who told me that I needed to put together a 5 year plan for my life.
I listened to her advice. I survived it only to marry an hpd.

So, I am again saddled with tons of debt, though we are still together.

I think you are young, if I am not mistaken. Reach out and grab the life you want. I thought miracles were occurring in my life after my first wife left me. I found a very good job while I went back to college. I made my old friends back, and I was enjoying life. Then, I met my next wife. She seemed so understanding about my ex and my situation.
The point is, make things happen for yourself. Avoid women for awhile. I know you will be lonely, but you will also find strength and peace in your loneliness.
You can do this.

Yeah im not very young, but younger. 27 to be exact. Its been a rough spiral for me. Last year was the absolute worst year of my young life. Its a new year and im trying to remain optimistic. But i keep running into obstacles. Im doing my best to battle them. Ive had a whole year of bad horrible luck. Sometimes i think her negatively rubbed off on me. I am trying to stay away from girls, until a good one comes along. Thanks though beaten, you are a good guy to talk to.

Sometimes i wish i can turn back the clock you know man? When i met my ex i was in the midst of speaking to a really cool girl, we liked each other, but she played hard to get haha. I ended up dating the narc, the other girl seemed a bit bothered but wasnt mad or anything. We remained friends from afar until the narc put her foot down and made me cut the friendship. Out of respect for her i did.

I look back now, and man. I should have took my chances with the other girl. She was such a sweetheart. I am glad to report that her and i are still friends. But that boat has sailed im sure. Its funny though, when i went through that spiral, that girl did come back for me though. She talked to me and tried to keep my chin up. She is truely a fantastic person. But i think maybe shes still a bit put off i dated the narc. So nothing came of it but friendship.

That would he like sticking your hand back in the flame to feel the pain again.

Indeed it would be. Thats why i could never do it. When i did go to her for advice when i was down, i got cold empathy from her. Besides, she caused me this misery. I dont need anymore misery. Im just saying i WISH she wasnt the way she was. A cold hearted individual who only cared about what she wanted. I remember when i viewed her differently. Until that mask came off..

I know. I need to get back on track here. As for my old friend, she still talks with me, but its nothing more than friendship. I messed that one up, oh well. Sometimes the flip of the coin doesnt always produce the best result.

Trust me, you can't turn back the clock. Each day will keep passing.

You never know about that other girl. She may be available, at least for friendship.

One thing I discovered, a woman that is hard to get is of much more value than one that is easy to get.
The easy to get ones will ruin your life.

About 2 months ago, I was really down about my marriage. I was thinking, I'm 46 and what do I have to look forward to?
Then, out of the blue I bumped into a woman that I dated years ago. She looked stunning. The first thing she told me was that I looked great! Anyway, she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. I wouldn't ask her out or do anything cheesy like that. But, it did give me hope that if things didn't work out, that somehow fate could intervene in my life and I wouldn't be lonely forever.
But, the first thing is to get right with yourself.

Thanks, OC. I appreciate the kind word.

I have thought many times that last year was the worst year of my life.
I am also trying to make this one better, but I haven't applied myself enough to do it.
I have restarted a novel I began writing years ago.

You need to find out what makes you tick. I'm 46, and I would love to be 27 again with the chance to start over.
I think you need to find your passion.
Perhaps, your parents drove it out of you? You can rediscover it! Then go for it!

Hi, Chris I was having the exact same feeling as you today. I was feeling down and stressed and just wanted her to be their to talk to and share my problems with like she used to be. Or how I thought she used to be. She would always be there for me in painful or stressful times. It's strange how someone who treated us so bad and messed our minds up are the ones we felt we could go to lean on in times of trouble.

I was p issed off, angry, upset and stressed driving by her house. I thought I wish I had her still there to tell how I was feeling at this moment. I try not to vent to much to friends about her because they think she's a b itch and I don't want to pass my negative mood onto them or make them sick of hearing about her so I try and keep her as a subject to a minimum. But, yeah, it's hard not having a partner, who you feel you can share your problems with. Just got to try not to let them bottle up some how.

Sounds also 2013 was a bad year for us all. I lost my grandfather, then suddenly out of the blue my uncle then all this sh1t with that stupid b itch. Like you Chris, iam 28, we are still young men. We are not even 30 a lot can happen between now and then. I just have to keep reminding myself of that and you do too. Life has up, downs, trials and tribulations. We do have good times still to come.

My year was horrible.

I came in last in my region for sales in my company. That's last out of 70-some sales people.

My best buddy from childhood died of a sudden heart attack at 46.

My wife told me that she wanted to separate.

I have had chronic ringing in the ears and fatigue.

This year will be better.

It sounds as if we all had a bad year for sure. Its messed up. Lee, i feel the exact way you do.

But....with all this mountain of stress im under. I cant begin to think about adding more stress with involving myself with her again. When i did, my main focus was her,and i ignored alot of my other problems. So ill just leave her be, im sure shes skipping away happy since she got her apartment now (that we got together) and can have any guy in there she wants. It makes me sick thinking about it...not to mention infuriating. She can do that......while im left here picking up the million pieces that is my life now.

And yet im labled the bad guy...i hope karma tears her apart.

I know exactly how you feel Chris. Mines got new house (she's renting it, cost a lot more than she can afford but they have to try and look great), just past her driving test and got a new car, after years of driving mine with no licence and lying to me she had one and now apparently got a new man. While I'm left lost, not knowing what to do. Slowly I think I'm getting better as I'm sure you are but it isn't fair I know what your saying. I can relate. I used to believe in karma,but we want karma to get them now, not in a year or 10years now so we can watch.

Chris and Lee......you need to handle it this way


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBqMUehit68&list=PL91DD513A87966001&index=1

Course I know this one feels better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChSr4-LUueU&list=PL91DD513A87966001

no more of this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YihNLpyMXHc&list=PL91DD513A87966001

ultimately you get to this point and will see freedom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx-Dt8yr3oI&list=PL91DD513A87966001

Think Rebel Son Band has some experience with PD'd women?
Course I do understand revenge. This one does indeed work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSpoDTiaECY