Hi guys there is light at the end of the tunnel, its my final hearing for shared custody tomorrow and low and behold after saying she agreed to it she is now contesting it, she has forwarded her statement to me, what questions can I ask to induce her true nature in front of the judges.

Thanks for being there guys

That's a hard thing to do at a given time and location where the PDI is on best behavior.

I've found the way is to expose the projection for the shallow nothing it really is. Expose the projection as less than perfect and bingo.... Dig deep and ALWAYS follow up. Their projected beliefs are founded on being perfect but that is only skin deep, follow up questions cannot usually be answered.

The constructed falsehood of there projected story cannot stand up to being questioned beyond the top layer

Also, best word to use ???


WHY... JUST ASK WHY.....

Why she said that... why she believes something, contrary to evidence Why is she saying such hurtful things contrary to your behavior to her. Why is she being so unreasonable against your reason. Why is she trying to hurt you... (see - that one makes it about you...drives them nuts ) Why to everything.

Best of all - question what (WHY) she "believes" something is the way she believes it "should be".

What you're asking her to do is engage her higher reasoning

BUT....

Because a PDI is pure emotion with no cognitive reason - seek a reason - and it buggers them. The hamster brain blows a fuse. Not a pretty sight.

Rule #1 - NEVER GET EMOTIONAL - that's her fight and you'll loose.

I wish I'd had seen this before the hearing it didn't go
Well and got eaten alive :(

Sorry I was late, and to hear it didn't go well. I guess time zones may have something to do with it.



If she's PDI the info will still be worth knowing and for others who are still fighting these women.

Never fight the enimeys fight- fight yours... (old air combat adage)

rows tantrums, confusion, disruption, smoke n mirrors and aggression are their allies. Don't go there EVER.

Calm, logic, reason, honesty, understanding, morality and an adults outlook are yours....use them.

If she gets emotional and all Tazmainian Devil .... Be bugs bunny....disengage from her fur ball, (go high...wait) keep using your strength against her weakness. Smile, (it drives em nuts) keep calm, stick to your version no matter what the rats nest she's weaving. Always put point of view calmly, never emotionally or even loud. Know one thing....her anger IS NOT ABOUT YOU. It's HER anger...she generated it, not you. It's her projection that's all.


Yeh I know it sounds like a knife fight....you and I know - it is.