Ok. So, I have known a bit about toxic and disfunctional women for some time. I am divorced and do not talk to my ex for no contact. I live a fairly stable life and am mostly unaffected by her or some other narcs that I have to deal with. I invited my sister to come for the 4th and she arrived last night. After several hours she began to pick at me and say derogatory comments. When I did not respond she ramped up the insults and continued. She even commented herself she was try to rile me up. So, later I expressed my concern for her comments and she blew up at me! I was telling her I didn't think they were appropriate and she lost her mind on me! So she says she is going home and I said that would be a good idea. She proceeds to get in my face. Kind of sucks but she is about 2 inches taller than me and was looking for a fight! I let it go. But when we got back in my home she did it again. This time I found it necessary to restrain her! I had to hold her head down by her hair so she couldn't hit me or scratch me. Then.....get this. She says she's going to call the police! On me! ...What? I'm telling her to get out of my home and don't come back and she wants to call the police. Well. She didn't and she did leave but I'm starting to think that my ex, my mother, and my gawd damm sisters are ALL toxic and abusive. Anyone have any experience with this?

Hello Ken,

For the reasons of her demeaning behavior, you need to give some more details on your relationship: how is your relationship with your sister under normal circumstances?
Did you ask her flat out why she does those things to you?

For the volatility : BPD's hate it when you tell them that their reactions are not correct, they explode the very instant you mention it to them. This is because they can not handle the reality that they are not able to behave like a normal person on an emotional level: their emotions control them totally, they're like a ship without rudder in the ocean.

Mentioning this to them makes them explode, because they are well aware of this fact; being unable to set a course for themselves, they've built up a huge amount of frustration, hence the volatility.

Jack

Thanks Jack. She is known for saying inappropriate things and for hitting people. She just has never tried to get physical with me. I see a pattern from my own family to the exnarc. A. They insult, demean, abuse, or incite. B. You protest (if you do you are; not a good sport, too sensitive, not a man...etc. C. If you press the point about THEIR behavior you may; end up on the wrong side of the divorce proceedings you didn't see coming, have a bunch of people who don't even know you hate your guts, OR emotional or physical violence. D. You protect yourself and if you do you can now expect to be on the wrong side of a police report. ...They love to use other people as weapons. It's not about justice, it's about winning. And the further down you go, the better they feel. I am trying to list even one american woman I know that is not somewhat corrupt. Right now, I can't.

Hello Ken,

If all your family is similar, probably it is the result of the way you were raised. With a narc mom, the kids had a hell of a time being emotionally abused, to they would stay in line with mom's wishes.

Educate yourself on emotional blackmail, and how to handle it. It is the first step in your defense.

Next step is to work on yourself, so you are able to discard irrelevant statements easily. It will take time, but if I was able to do it, anyone can.


Jack