How long does the idealization phase last in a Narc relationship? My ex wife has been with this new guy for 2 years now and I wonder why they haven\'t been having any issues or conflicts, and why she hasn\'t thrown him out yet. I\'m aware that with these people nit\'s not a matter of if, but of when the brutal and unexpected devaluation and discard will occur, ending the narc\'s relation to you as they move on to a new source. I just can\'t help but wonder why she\'s so happy with him, is it all an act to uphold her image or something when really she\'s empty inside and uses him as a bearer for her pain?

Narcs are all act.Their image is THE most important thing to them there is in the world!.So never believe anything they say EVER!
Their behavior and thinking is cyclical.It goes in cycles.
examp.

Your wonderful,your pretty good, then your just ok then your terrable-Then it starts over
Your terrible ,your ok,your pretty good,your great,your wonderful -eventually your terrible again.
(a terrible horrible beast that didnt help me get my way the way i wanted)
And on top of that, eventually if you bow to their every whim,they will hold you in contempt for being a push over

Their mind is like foam bubbles in sewage.
You dont want to go there.
The mind of a narc is like a mixd up, discombobulated putrid thing from a science fiction /horror movie.

At some level they know they are different but no way in he(( do they want everyone else to know too

Their mind twists and turns and cycles

OVER AND OVER,ROUND AND ROUND.

UP AND DOWN

SIDE TO SIDE.

Like 360degree merry go round .
And they dont want you to know when they are going to push you off to land on your ass
(after they have gotten what they want)



It would be best never to have contact with her again if possible.

The cycle could take weeks,months or years.

i would guess about 5 years before cracks appear that are noticeable to people who dont live with them every day.
Pretty typical .

Feel bad for him,but its not your responsibility.

Take care Brother