So here I am. Apparently im not the only one going through this stuff. Hmmm. Where to start. . . .so im 24, married with two children (toddlers). My wife is also 24. We've been married for almost three years now and things are getting ridiculous. At first it started out her not trusting me thinking I was cheating even though I had given no indication that was since all i did was go to work and come home. I finally was able to convince her that I wasnt indeed cheating. Well a few months go by anf I find out shes texting an old friend that lived out of state. Naturally I trusted her and didnt think twice. One day I saw her twxt messages woth him and they were extremely inappropriate. I confronted her about it and I was told I was being whiny and needy no matter how much I told her I didnt like that she was talking to a dude like that. Lets das foward a bit. We moved into a new place im the only one working 57 hours a week every week. She stayed at home with the kids. Most days I'd come home to find the house an absolute disaster as if she had not lifted a finger to clean anything. I confronted her and she called me abusive and controlling for asking her to pull her own weight around. I wad threatened with divorce and told I was a terrible person. So once I knew she wouldn't listen and keep up the house I just gave up and cleaned it myself every day since she would never clean it would be a disaster literally every evening after I cleaned it the evening before. One time I tried leavingm I had a good chunk of money saved up so I could leave and be comfortable. Well as I was walking out the door she told my two year old son that I was dead and didn't care about him anyway.that was just one of the ways she used them as a weapon to bring me back. She withholds all affection from me and she rejects any attempts I make to be intimate which makes me feel inadequate and like crap and of course when I confront her about it im called whiny needy and all I care about is sex. A couple of months ago she got herself a job. Now she really has a reason not to clean because she could just say she worked all day and didnt want to. She met new friends at work and I thought that might help us out but its the opposite.shes constantly hanging out with her friends almost every night all night.I tried confronting her about that too. Once again I was called needy and whiny and im pushing her away. It doesnt make any sense she doesnt take thia marriage seriously.on multiple occasions shell purposely try to start a fight in a public place just to humiliate me in front of people or make it look like im the one being ****ty towards her. Last example I can give. Since shes working now she takes the kids to a baby sitter every morning since my cars a crap shoot and hers is much more reliable. So this morning she wakes me up and asked " will you take the kids to so and so this morning so I sont have to hurry. I said im sorry but I cant i have no gas in my car and I dont have enough timw since I have to be at work earlier than you. You should've let me know last night so I could've just loaded them up and left real quick. Well after I said that she proceeded to stomp around the house screaming about ne saying I needed to know the night before. Basically mocking me. She got the kids together still screaming at me so I said **** it. I went outside and started switching the car seats to my car so she would stop insulting and yelling at me. She came out and said she didnt have enough time to switch the seats out and pushed my head into the door. I shoved her out of my way and just went back into the house. After I had gotten to work I called her while she was on her way to work. Turned out she was at mc Donaldson getting breakfast for herself after freaking the hell out on me saying she didnt have any time and she haf to be at work. I dont know guys. This is insane. What do I do? Sorry if things are kinda thrown together I was just in the vent zone lol

Forgot to mention. On my birthday I had a few friends over to have a little shindig. She comes home from work walks past everyone without saying a word. She calls me back in the house and tells me to take her out to eat. In the middle of a thing. This w as snt planned before hand or anything she just expected me to tell everyone to go home so I could take her to a sit down restaurant on my birthday. I said im sorry but I'd rather do this right now we'll make a plan for tomorrow evening. Well she didint like that she didn't get her way and basically acted like an ******* to make everyone leave. By that point I was good and ****** and I just ignored her and went to bed. She came upstairs turned on the light and tried to pull blankets off of me. I just ignored her. She put her knee into my throat. Still ignore her. She started punching me karate chopping jumping whatever. I still didnt say a word. At that point she said. "If you dont leave I'll call the police and tell them you hit me" so me, still saying nothing, calmly went and started packing up my things. She kept standing in front of me telling me im not allowed to leave. I still said nothing but im thinking wtf is wrong with this woman. Soviet kept packing and she straight up clawed my face. At that point I would've loved to be that violent guy but I still said nothing and just went back upstairs back to bed. She left me alone that time. Happy birthday to me.

Its just theres so much I dont even know howc explain it all. Plus im always second guessing myself because she always twists everything I say around to make it look like im the bad guy or im crazy. I just dont know what to do anymore or how to do it. Im justdo ******* lost.

Only solution can be summed up in a single word......"LEAVE". It will happen eventually in any case and you should leave on your own terms. The final solution will be her pitching your a$$ out backed by police and a restraining order based on lies. Record her abuse without her knowledge. Cell phone in a shirt pocket set to record works well. Usually not allowed in court but play it back to the responding officers and it makes a big difference. Make sure you act first and charge her with domestic violence a couple of times and you will have it easier in court. Here is the way it is done.....

http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a110.htm

I played this game.....never again!

Farthest Away"

When the closest one is the farthest away How it burns in your mind when there's nothin' left to say When the closest one is the farthest away Is there anything I can do to help you wanna change When the closest one is the farthest away It'll break down your mind with those lonesome feelin' ways When the closest one has nothin' left to say Just keep on truckin' through another broken day All you can do Is what's best for you All you can do Is what's best for you When the closest one is the farthest away How much longer will you take those dark and lonely days When the closest one is the farthest away Will there be another chance for us to feel a little change When the closest one don't look at you the same Has she forgot the spark that you always used to bring When the closest one is the farthest away How it burns in your mind on those tough and lonely days All you can do Is what's best for you All you can do Is what's best for you When the closest one has nothin' left to say Well, do your best to make her feel wanted every day When the closest one is hatin' all your ways Well, let it be and do somethin' to help it go away When the closest one don't look at you the same Just try to think about some o' them good lovin' days When the closest one don't like callin' your name Remember back when you were once both on the same page All you can do Is what's best for you All you can do Is what's best for you When the closest one is the farthest away How it burns in your mind when there's nothin' left to say When the closest one is the farthest away Ol' time will work against you when you start to fade away When the closest one is the farthest away Will there be another chance to try to heal our hurtful ways When the closest one starts lookin' the other way How it burns in your mind when she says that you're to blame All you can do Is what's best for you All you can do Is what's best for you

David,

She's another one of those females who cannot deal with life by themselves. No emotional self-control, and expects you to behave like a woman (feelings=facts).

3 years is very quick.

Could be the mother instinct ("the world is trying to destroy me, and I have to lash back"), or she just had a plan for her life : get someone to provide for her the rest of her days, while she's out having fun; while your only role now is to make sure she has everything she needs. Lunacy, but for a lot of women this is life as they see it.

If you decide to stay, educate yourself on emotional blackmail, to start understanding what's going on. And accept that you're talking to a child, she is not an adult. Anything she says about you, is only to hurt your feelings, and control you that way. Do not allow it, by stepping back from the frontline and watching the kid have its tantrum. She's all wrong, and you know it.

Next step is to cover your back:

Start recording her behavior in secrecy, as a backup for possible police charges (yes, she will go there).

Go to the social services, and discuss what you can do. If you have a case open with them, it will be valuable backup in court if things go sour.

If she attacks you physically, report it to the police immediately. Again, to have an official record of her behavior.

The longer the list of her behavior, the better for you.

Once your back is covered, you can start thinking about working on her disorder, if you still feel like this person is worth living a life with.


Jack