Bec, who cares of the reason why he didn't want to move on with you but with someone else. At least now you know what kind of man he is. He's not honest, he sleeps with someone very easily. I know it's easier said than done, but this guy is not worth your heart. Imagine if you continued in this relationship with him, what if he ended up sleeping with the lady (his current girlfriend) while he was with you? He wouldn't have told you the truth. It hurts to think that someone doesn't want to be with you but instead, wants to be w/ someone else. But not every two people who get together are right for each other. One day, and that's gonig to be one day soon, you WILL find the one that is your soul mate. That guy, he's not yours. Your soul mate would not sleep with you while loving someone else. Did he put your feelings to thought? no. Did he think about how much he would be hurting his girlfriend when he slept with you? No. Did he think abut how much it would confuse you afterwards? No. Everything he did was selfish. When you slept with him, it's probably becasue you still have feelings for him and you DO NOT have a boyfriend. I'm not an expert on love advice, but i'd like to say that this guy is not trust worthy. Who knows who else he is sleeping with on the side without his girlfriend knowing. I truly do not like cheaters, and that's how i see it. Even if they were on a break when he slept with you, it's still the same. When they're on a break, they still belong to each other until one of them says it's over. However, that was not the case. You went 4 months without him, it's hard...but girl, you did it !! Congrats !! Just learn from your mistakes. Life is all about mistakes. Everything happens for a reason, and perhaps with you sleeping with him, it happened because it showed you who he really is.

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Replying to:

Hey everyone,




I'm having one of those can't stop thinking about it, questioning myself and questioning what we had days.




So, my ex and I are at the stage of beginning a friendship of sorts. But it still hurts me a little. Actually today it hurts me a lot. The reason we broke up after 8 months other than the fact that we were having arguments, was because he didnt think he wanted to be in a relationship. He was feeling a little crowded i think. The more he retreated the more I followed him, until he just said he wasnt in love with me anymore. So he said he would always love me, and so on, but he didnt want a girlfriend. That was painful, but I got by.




Two months or so after we split he started seeing someone else, I just found out recently. It has now been 4 months since we split. Anyway we both teach english in Japan, and she was another teacher. She went back to England, so one night when i was out on the town and ran into my ex, one thing just led to another and he came home with me. I tried to put him off at first, but he was the one pursuing something happening. I said, its not right, what about your girlfriend, and he said that she wasnt, and it was complicated. So after protesting for a while I couldnt resist.




Anyway, I realized i wasnt in love with him anymore, but it messed up my feelings a lot. I got confused.




When i spoke to him again we both agreed it could never happen again, and we have since had dinner as friends and spoken on the phone as friends. Whenever something from the past comes up I tell him thats over with and we should leave it behind.




We talked about his girlfriend too. It turns out that she is his girflriend now as they decided they couldnt not be together. So I said, thats great and I hope you are both happy together. But when I asked him if he had told her about what had happened with us, he said no. Even though they had decided to break up and then get back together, I thought that was wrong. I would want to know if I was her.




So I have lots of questions and I know some of them i shouldnt worry about but




How can he love her if he can sleep with me, just like that?




Would anyone want to be in the position where their new boyfriend


wasnt telling them something like that?




What about what we had when we were going out? Was it real? He said he was in love me but was he?




He said he didnt want a girlfriend, but now he does? Does that mean that it was me? He just didnt want me? He is going home early to England because he wants to be with her. But he was never prepared to plan ahead for me.




I am so confused. I would love him to say that what we had was real, was special and that he didn love me. He has said that before but I dont know if he realizes and I dont let it show, how much it hurts that he is going to go home to be with another woman, that he is now in love with another woman. How can someone fall in and out of love so fast? Can it really be love if he is not going to be honest with her.




Apart from being worried about myself, I also was concerned for him, but its his problem. I told him, I didnt want to tell himwhat to do but that I head learnt honesty was always best, so he should tell her, and he should also make sure that he doesnt go doing anything silly like that with someone else, like he did with me.




Im trying to be his friend, and managing okay. But it still hurts me that someone who didnt want to plan a future with me, is wanting to plan a future with someone else. What does it all mean? Is there something wrong with me? Am I damaged goods?




I know I usually sound so on top of things, and generally I am, but I could really really do with some insight if anyone has any. Advice, anything, encouragement, whatever.




I'm feeling fairly together four months on, but I still have feelings for him. Im through with the anger, the shock everything, but i'm just feeling stuck.




I want to move on too. I want to be happy too.




I want him to be happy also. I know we are wrong for each other, but how long does it take to forget someone?




Sorry about the length of this submission.

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