I don't mean to sound offensive but maybe you need to focus on your marriage and not about an affair you had with someone.
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All right, I know... I'm married, I fooled around and I probably got what I deserved. My "friend" and I had an emotional relationship. We slept together, I won't deny that, but the basis of our relationship was a very close friendship. He decided that the sexual part of our relationship had to end. That wasn't such a big deal except that he went about it so badly. Now he wants us to have the same relationship, but without the "emotional" aspect of it. I'm not sure what he means by that. When I treat him the same way that I treat the rest of my friends, he thinks I'm being cold. I tell him he can't keep the parts of the friendship he wants and toss out the rest without it being less than it was. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, or why I'm here. I'm mostly over the heartbreak, but he keeps calling and it's hard to keep turning him away. I know he loves me but won't/can't admit it because I'm married. I'm not in a position to leave my husband, but as soon as I am, I'm out of here. I know that doesn't justify anything. Just for the record I've been married 13 1/2 yrs. and things are going down hill rapidly...