Hey everybody, I'm feeling o.k. now, but things have been pretty rough. I was with him for 2 years, and we were really great, like best friends. i knew going in he was a recovering alcoholic, and he never touched a drop. The problem was he was issued a permit for weed due to a bad car accident 5 years ago. He started smoking so much that it felt like he wasn't really here. I'm not against weed, but it is hard being with someone who is doing it from 4:30 or 5:30 in the morning, right until bedtime!
He would slip into a rut, and would become extremely sensitive and defensive. I know everyone denies what they may have done, I had my moments, but honestly I did the wrong thing by not trying harder to reachout to him. I was always walking on eggshells, noise bothered him, and I would work 10 hour days and still have to come home and cook and clean. This is the second time he left, and I still love him but have to move on, I cannot help him, he couldn't finish school, and he seems to have no direction. this is not the man I've known since I was 12(I am 38). He claims he doesn't love me anymore, yet last time he left he was crying on the phone the same day. This time he has offered for me to keep the cell phone. I don't know what he is thinking, but even though I am moving on it would be nice to know he does still love me and it's just his addiction clouding his judgment. I am probably opening myself up to some negative comments, but you have to understand for over a year we were great together.
I finally told him how the weed had changed him after he decided to leave, but he can't see it. Does anyone have a similar experience or thought to put in? thanks